Loveing Arms

Loveing Arms

I can’t wait to feel his strong arms around me and holding me tight, yes I am so looking forward to this time away and just spending time with a man. I so do love men and always have as I find men to be quite interesting in many ways.

I am truly amazed by the perseverance that my stalker has and wow is he ever persistent. He is romantic in a very unique way or maybe it’s just unique to me. I do not remember being romanced as he is doing, no this is definitely unique and I’m loving it.

I have been pissed for so long at all the bullshit but now it’s all falling into place and making sense to me. He is so damn nice, nice as in a person should be but they are rare finds these days for sure. I am so looking forward to the caresses and kisses, the get to know you touches and those deep gazes into each other’s eyes.

Yes I am aware that my dreams are something he wants to make a reality for me and I think that is just crazy but that’s why I love him, he’s silly like I am and I really like that about him, he is so romantic and highly sexed which is something that fucking rocks!

The Dance Of The Night

The Dance Of The Night

He is always on my mind and I wonder what he is doing and wonder if he is thinking about me as well. I think this entire “relationship” that we have is really something and I am finding it to be quite romantic in such a subtle way.

I must say being courted this way is interesting and exciting as it keeps me wondering and guessing and that is exactly what his goal has been all along. He’s a sly one indeed and smart, o yes very smart but he wanted me to know who he is and he dropped a shitload of hints.

People like to hide but they also like to be found as well and that is exactly what he did, laid out information that would lead me closer and closer to who he was. He knows I know who he is but as long as we do not meet until we are completely alone. I guess he feels safer that way which is fine with me I can live without the bullshit .

I am so excited about meeting him as this is so damn romantic that he has got  like the most romantic guy in the world. How that is so hot to me. He needs to know if what he feels is real and I am the same way as I have these feelings.

I need to validate my emotions and I think we both already know but need to be together to get to know each other. It’s crazy isn’t it, to have feelings and deep emotions for someone we have never met. He knows me better than anyone alive, even my closest friends and that is so odd but comforting.

He is comfortable, yes I feeling comfortable chatting with him and that is a nice feeling as is the protective feeling I get from him. It’s just the oddest relationship yet it is comfortable and fits well and I like it and am enjoying the hell out of the dance of the night.

Find Your Emptiness

So many of us feel empty at times and those are the times we need to define why we are feeling that way. When you find your emptiness, look at it closely, examine it, define it and fill it with all the love that you are surrounded by.

Never let anyone take away what fills that emptiness and never let anyone make you feel empty and if they do then it’s time for them to go. All of us have love within ourselves and we need to redirect it to the emptiness we have inside ourselves.

People tend to be jealous and envious and some just do not like to see others filled with love and happiness and those people are the ones that need our love the most. Never let anyone walk on you or destroy you as an individual.

I used to feel so empty but then I became consumed and filled with feelings for someone else and I began to focus on that person and what I could do for him to make him happy. I am happy and sharing that with another is something that I am proud of and sharing my personal happiness and growth brings the sun to shine down on that person.

You can do so much for others by sharing just a small part of yourself and being there for them in their hour of need. Making someone else laugh at themselves is helping them find their emptiness and filling it with their own brand of self analyzing

When we take the time to observe ourselves from outside of ourself we are able to see ourselves so much more clearly. There is a part of me I have never shared with anyone because I was always so afraid of rejection but that has changed.

I am ready to share the “empty me” with someone else and to build a life with someone as I am willing to show all of myself instead of hiding. I have never been able to tell anyone that I really loved them as in a personal one on one relationship.

My marriage was a functioning dysfunctional relationship at best and I learned quite a bit about myself and what I really want out of life. My wants are simple and I am not one to demand that life supply me with expensive items.

I have been able to let love flow through me like my life’s blood and that is a huge step for me to take, letting someone in to love me as much as I finally love myself. When I meet him I will know he is the one to be part of my future and help me shape life into one big heart filled with love.

How will I know he is the one? Looking deep into his eyes, touching his face softly and kissing him gently will bring out the truth within his own heart. Love is not instantaneous but it is quite obvious when people are in love as they have an “air” about them.

Love changes our lives in so many ways but when you are in love you do start to love yourself as you cannot hide from the love your partner is sharing with you. Let love in and love will emerge from you and both of you will be surrounded by a peace that everyone needs to have in their lives.

Destine To Be

I am very spiritual and believe strongly in God but I am not a “Jesus Freak” or pound the pavement trying to get others to believe in my beliefs. I am a “quiet” believer in God as I carry him within my heart but do not speak of what I believe in to others.

Everyone has the right to believe in their own form of “God” and I believe God has a plan for each and every one of us. I believe that God protects and watches over me and I believe he has chosen who I shall spend the rest of my life with.

I am a one man woman and do not take relationships lightly, I am totally committed or not committed at all and that is how I am when I am involved with someone. That person becomes the only one that gets my affection and I find that hard for others to do.

I want to be of help to the person of my affections and I want to see that their life is happy and I am always there for them. I accept them for who they are and do not try to change them as I do not want anyone to try and change me.

I have my quirks like most people but nothing dramatic or out of the ordinary, I love to make people laugh and make them happy and I enjoy taking care of the one that is receiving my love. Love is defined differently by each person but I believe it is respect, caring, helping, understanding, communication and so much more.

I want love in my life and I want to share my life with another, I have reached the point that I am ready for a relationship. It’s been a year and one half since my husband passed and I have not been with a man since he passed.

You know when you are finally ready to get involved and for me it’s been a hell of a long time but yes I am ready and I know that I am ready to love someone and to be loved by them. I want to be held so bad and feel the arms of a man around me.

I want to lie in bed next to man and feel loved, really feel loved and I want to have fun and enjoy life with another. I hadn’t realized that life without love is quite barren until recently, yes I do want to be loved and to love and I want to laugh and be silly.

I do not know why God is keeping the man of my affections from coming to me but I do believe everything happens when it is suppose to and not a minute sooner. You cannot speed up what God controls and you cannot make things happen before their time.

We are destine to be together one day as that is what God has planned for both of us. He set the wheels in motion three years ago and they are still spinning. One day I will be with my soul mate and that day cannot come soon enough.

Let Me Love You

I used to hate myself, yes I did as so many others do. It falls under low self-esteem and that is where the self-hatred hides itself. You  loathe who you are and your illness, you loathe people around you and your family, you loathe yourself.

Self hatred can destroy a person and you do not dream or have wishes, you do not look forward to anything and you look in the mirror and want to scream. Hating who you are is a very difficult place to remove yourself from but can be done.

I have learned to love myself and I have done it by letting someone else actually “love” me, yes when you allow someone else to love your life changes. How could this be you may ask and my answer is this: someone who loves you shows you the way to happiness.

Letting someone actually love you changes your outlook on life and yourself, everything becomes colorful and wonderful, life becomes exciting and fun. You have to learn to love yourself and spending time with someone who loves you.

Love is a wonderful and when you are loved by someone they take notice of all your good points and they tell you and show you. Love is a healer as love can build you back up and make you feel good about yourself but you do not need to be loved by another to love yourself.

I have accepted who I am and I’m ok with who I am, I do not need anyone to accept me as I have accepted myself and that is fucking awesome. Yes, I love me and I have let me love me and no one can knock me down again.

You cannot let others rain on your parade, you have to take a stand and not let anyone say things to you that may tear you down. No, you walk away from that shit and remind yourself that you are special just like everyone else and no one can hurt you.

You have to remind yourself that you are invincible and you control your destiny to a certain degree. You cannot let yourself pull yourself down and under into the darkness. No one is ugly and useless, no one should ever hate who they are as we are all special, yes even you.