The Union True

We are programmed to marry, raise our children and divorce or divorce and raise our children. The union true of marriage is a contractual agreement between two people and the contractual agreement doesn’t make room for emotional feelings. People make a huge mistake of marrying for love alone.

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Love doesn’t pay the bills and love doesn’t guarantee happiness and it doesn’t guarantee longevity of the union true. Women tend to want to get married more quickly than a man but there are some men that require marriage to make them feel secure. I am secure within myself even though I have days of self-doubt but I do not need to legalize a union true.

If I ask you to marry me I am not asking for a legal document, I am asking for a commitment of your heart.

I consider myself married to someone because I have not laid with another and I am here for him always. He makes me mad, damn mad at times and I infuriate him as well but it’s a beautiful thing we have. Totally unconventional, we love each other but we do not know each other to be in love with one another.

I love so many things about him but what I really get a kick out of is when he thinks he pulling a sneaky over my eyes. He is a riot and so funny and I sit back and just laugh and laugh. He is very smart but guess what? I have check mated him several times with great joy and I don’t play chess, lol.

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A Hope A Dream

I woke up to take Ryan to school and he was up all night sick so he didn’t make it to school, again. I am still sick myself with the intestinal flu. I went back to bed and had the most delightful dream. I seem to have the best dreams after I go back to sleep and they are always so comforting.

I was sleeping in his bed in France and the light was sneaking peeks through the drapes. He was lieing behind me with his arm over my waist. I could feel the warmth of his body and his breath on my neck and I moved his hand from my waist and placed it on my bare breast.

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We were so comfortable and it felt so right to be next to him. There was no sexual arousal, it was just two people feeling secure and happy to be with each other. Both of us needed this time to relax and to recharge for the day ahead and he was going to be leaving for the day shortly.

He repositioned himself and we slowly awoke and he climbed over me to get out of bed and into the shower. My day wasn’t to start for several more hours but the thought of him in the shower made me get up and join him. Both of us stood under the hot water and I soaped up the sponge and began to wash him.

I slowly moved the sponge over his neck and down his chest and then I washed his back and moved back to his crotch and gently washed his erect member. I worked around to his tight butt and washed him delicately. He kissed my neck and put me against the wall and entered me slowly.

This was no hasty sexual act but an act of slow methodical  demonstrative love. We made slow, passionate love and both of us exploded like a bomb. I washed his hair and then bent down and washed his legs and feet as he washed my hair and bathed me. We exited the shower and dried each other off and both of us had that look of mischievous on our faces.

I took off towards the bed and he chased me and as I dove into the bed he followed. We got under the covers and in a comfortable position and we talked about the days events. He got out of bed and I admired his glistening nakedness as he got dressed and then I woke up to the sound of the phone ringing.

I really like dreams like this because it makes me feel safe and secure, he makes me feel safe and secure and just thinking of him puts a smile on my face. I wish he was just a regular guy with a regular job but he isn’t regular in any way shape or form. With all that he has he also goes without the security of knowing that people like him for himself not his title.

People can be rich and famous and others think they have it all but the truth is they have no piece of mind. They always have to protect themselves from users and people who want to capitalize from them. Women have to be analyzed for their intentions and motives as well.

Would I ever want to be rich and famous? No, you may have the fame and all that you want materialistically but you can never be sure if someone likes you for you and nothing more. I have known him for years and the last two is when I discovered who he really is.

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It is difficult for me to know who he is because I feel as if he compares me to all of the other women that want to be with him because of who he is. He doesn’t realize that his fame is a total turn off to me because I have no desire to live that lifestyle, no I am the girl who wants to go back to her youth of happiness living on a farm.

My wedding ring is very beautiful I guess but I am not into jewelry and my daughter wants my ring. I do not know if I should give it to her or not because it does represent her father and I. The ring means nothing to me and holds no memories like it should but the first sign that the marriage wasn’t going to work was the day we got married.

My girlfriend took pictures at the justice of the peace and not a single picture turned out. That represented a black cloud over our marriage to me. Things progressively got more distant as the years went on and we were no more than two ships passing in the night. I look back now and I see my purpose in the marriage was to take care of my husband until he reached heaven.

I did all the required duties and so much more but the marriage lacked the essentials for a happy union. I guess I am a strange  bird because I do not want anyone to support me or pay my bills and take care of my kids. I do not want a fancy house and car and I do not want a closet full of expensive clothes.

What do I want? A small ranch and a garden that I can pick fresh tomatoes, cilantro, garlic and jalapeno peppers. I really like hot sauce and making my own is the best. I just want a simple, happy life and I think that is what he is striving for himself because he has realized long ago the pitfalls of fame.

No matter how my dreams end I will always want him to be happy and healthy and I will always want his happiness, even if it is at the expense of my own. I have such a deep believe in the thought of us as true soul mates and that will never change because it continues to grow stronger year by year.

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It’s All New

If you are thinking about starting a new job or business, taking a relationship to the next level, building a home or anything that is a new beginning, you couldn’t have picked a better time. When you have a Lunar Moon backing up your move it is like having the entire world as your backer.

I am very thankful for this coming Lunar Moon because my life is changing quite a bit and it is all for the good. I have the backing needed to open my heart to a relationship and I have the support needed to make it a successful relationship. I am looking into starting a business because I need the money to help my daughter through college

My kids are my total responsibility and no one elses and I will get my kids through school on my own because, well because I can and I am determined enough to find a way to make money. I thought about becoming a dating scammer but to be honest I am to lazy to invest that much time into someone just to rip them off.

To be honest I rather do phone sex because it’s easy money and you can work your own hours. I will do what I need to, to get the money to get my daughter through school and then she has law school. She wants to be a judge one day and my attorney Scott is going to give her a job next spring.

I am starting to trust someone and that is scary because when I start to trust you I become vulnerable and I do hope I am not making a mistake by letting this person near my heart. I do hope he realizes this is a huge step for both of us and I think we are both walking on egg shells getting to this point.

He has had to admit something and he did last night, which I was literally shocked that he did. He took a hell of a chance finally opening up to me but I  think he finally realized he was losing and I wasn’t playing. We are finally in a place where he is comfortable setting a time and place to meet me.

The timing is as it should be because the next two years will be the “training ground” for our relationship. He will be gone a lot but we will be able to see each other maybe once every couple of months. This is a nice way to build a relationship because the distance allows us to focus on who we are and showing that to each other.

We both have a over the top sex drive and I think cam sex and phone sex keep a relationship hot and exciting. I think skype chat is a great way for us to keep in touch. I am so, I don’t know the word but for him to show himself last night just floors me because he trusts me that much.

You have no idea what his trust means to me and I am totally floored, literally in shock. It makes me feel so good that I have finally earned his trust and believe me to earn his trust is saying something. We have four years behind us and now we have each other and moving slowly is what we both feel comfortable doing.

 

Must The Father

A man loves his children as much as the mother but in a different way and men can and are just as responsible if not more with their children. I do not think either parent should bring a new person around unless they are sure that person is going to be around.

Divorce is very hard on children and they need to adjust even if the parents were separated. It is not easy for any child to see the hurt and anger between their parents and even if you hide it from them, you have hid nothing as they saw the writing on the wall long ago and dreaded it.

When you get involved with someone you need to have a clear understanding of what is expected of each other and their children. I would never get mad if the man I was seeing wanted to be with his kids or had to do something with his children, say if one were to get married I would not feel comfortable attending such an event unless we had been together a long time.

I think if you have been seeing someone on a steady basis for 3-6 months then it is safe to bet you will be together for a while longer. If you have a long distance relationship then you have to base your decision on the time you have spent together, not the time you have communicated on the computer or phone.

To build a relationship two people must spend time together and learn about each other and their likes, dislikes, bad habits, ect. I think we must have a meeting of the minds and mutual respect and the kids play a very important part of my relationship with anyone.

We Want

Women generally to look for a man like their father and men do the same with their mothers. Men tend to prefer self reliant and confident women even if their mother wasn’t that way. Self confidence is a turn on because many do not have it.

I am self confidant because I have had to be and I am self reliant and want no one to take care of me. It’s nice to know that you have someone who will but to rely on them is to put yourself under another’s control, no thank you.

People have lost sight of what marriage is really about and to many give up and get divorced. I was separated for two years and we got back together, not out of love but more out of need. We needed each other and he really needed me.

I would never leave a relationship for another man because I think that ending the current relationship is hard enough without adding another to the mix, but that is just me.I think when you break up you should date people before you decide to settle with one.

It is said the second time around is the sweetest and I want to be damn sure before I m to anyone. I like to move slow in relationships because I want that relationship to have the best start as possible and I want to enjoy the person and learning about them.

I have never needed a man to feel whole but it is nice to have someone you can share ideas with and talk to about your troubles. I do not want someone to fix my shit, no I can do that but it is nice to have someone you trust that you can get feedback from.

The Ring Changes

Why is it when people get married the real person tends to come out? There seems that control comes with the ring and that is why I am scared to death to remarry. I watch people turn from a loving couple into two people that argue and try to control each other. I do not want to ever control anyone or anyone control me.

If you have a good relationship you should be able to discuss your problems and things that bother each other. You should never feel you have the right to tell another what they can and cannot do. I’m not opposed to marriage, I’m just opposed to controlling relationships.

I believe we should all be adult enough to settle our differences without killing each other or hurting each other. Why can’t we support each other and the things each wants to do without playing the heavy foot? Why can’t people just be themselves and live their life as it was meant to be lived?

The Chase Has Ended

I recently realized that chasing someone is a complete waste of time and does nothing for the self-esteem. If you really care for someone you let them know and if they show you nothing in return you know where you stand. It has taken me almost four years to finally wake up.

I am very awake now and have given all I have to let him know how I feel but he shows me nothing. My birthday was Friday and he didn’t even call me so I am done. I was fortunate enough to have run into someone who night and we had a fantastic time and have had a good time since.

The guy that I am spending my time with now is someone who I enjoy talking to and we seem to blend very well together. He just ended his marriage in a divorce and my husband died last year so both of us are free. He isn’t American and that makes me very happy because foreign men are quite different and more of a gentleman.

He made me a wonderful dinner tonight until the dreaded phone call came, his mother had a heart attack and he had to go to the hospital and I felt so bad for him. I offered to come with him but I explained that it really wasn’t my place but if he wanted I would go with him. We decided it would be best if he went alone but he has called me several times letting me know how she is doing.

That is very thoughtful of him and I think he just needed someone to talk to and I listened. I like him and enjoy our time together and I am just taking it a day at a time. I am in no hurry to be in a committed relationship and we have discussed this but I feel like he is moving to fast for me.

I haven’t smiled or laughed this much in years and it is about time and he makes me feel good about myself. He has started to call me a nickname and we just went out for the first time Friday. He is very affectionate in his manner and he is always holding my hand or has his arm around me and he hasn’t tried to jump my bones as of yet.

He does all the things a real gentleman does and he is always asking if I would like this or that and I always say no which is bothering him. He doesn’t understand why I do not want his gifts and he feels insulted because I have refused to take them from him. I cannot get through to him that I do not want or need his presents, I just want to spend time with him and enjoy our time together.

He seems to think he must buy me things and that isn’t me and he seems to think that is really strange. He told me he has done this with every woman he has ever been with. I have explained to him that a gift isn’t going to change the way I feel about him and it surely will not make me love him.

He says I am very different from any woman he has ever dated and he didn’t understand me and has never had any woman ever turn down his gifts. I told him I am not like other women and I would appreciate if he would respect that and just accept me for me and not compare me to other women, hopefully he will stop the comparison and appreciate me for me.

Don’t Hang On Snoopie

I have learned a few things in my life and the one thing I do know very well is behavior patterns. Relationships are pretty cut and dried and when someone is in another relationship with someone it becomes obvious by their actions. People cheat on each other all the time and after sometime they become so comfortable in their actions that the truth is can no longer be ignored.

There are people who refuse to admit what is before their eyes and so many people turn a blind eye to the infidelity. The signs are crystal clear as they cannot see you when they want or you want and you never see them on holidays or weekends they are usually “working”.

The cheater cannot accept your calls or hangs up on you unexpectically and they can’t spend the night with you and if they do it is rare. The cheater eventually forgets their lies and slips up by saying something they shouldn’t and then when questioned about it they come up with another lie.

The cheater never takes you anywhere because they do not want anyone to see them with you and have it get back to the one he is really with. Men and women both cheat and it used to be mostly men but those stats are changing as both sexes cheat, they not only cheat the person they are fooling around with they are cheating themselves and the one they were originally committed to.

 

To Be Sure

People fall in love and get married without really looking at the person and they deal strictly on emotion. When I got married I was thirty four and got pregnant. Yes, I was on the pill but being fertile Myrtle proved to be stronger than any birth control pill. I married my husband because I thought he would be a good dad, how wrong I was.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved my husband after ten years of marriage or so but I was never in love with him nor him with me. We were raised during a time that you did the “right thing” and got married if knocked up. I made it clear to him that I wanted two kids not just one.

He didn’t want anymore kids but that wasn’t the deal we made. When I was ovulating I would practically have to chase his butt down and tie him to the bed because he just wasn’t into sex. How can a man not be into sex? He wasn’t into making babies but to bad I got my son anyway.

When I was giving birth he told me to shut up because I was in so much pain, that is why I never fell in love with him. He was very into himself and he was very selfish. Bob always wanted the best that we could afford, even if we couldn’t afford it he would go buy it. I would invest my money for the kids education and he spent every damn dime of that money during our divorce.

We got back together and he died a month later, once again leaving me to fend for the kids and myself after he spent all the money. He wasn’t all bad but he was very selfish and I will never be with another person like that again. I think people place too much emphasis on love and not enough on real compatibility.

The biggest mistake people make is marrying for love and not looking at what the two have in common. Money is a huge problem in marriages because people do not look at each other’s spending and saving habits. I am not a spender because I have had to take care of myself since I was young and I know the importance of saving.

I have made some really stupid mistakes with money when I was sick but now that I am doing well physically and mentally I am back on track. I get excited over little things like wild flowers instead of roses, diamonds hold no interest to me and neither do big houses and fancy cars.

Of course I like these items but it doesn’t mean I want them because I know the importance of people over items. I only need enough to get by and I am happy. Life isn’t about the material crap, it’s about the moments that make memories we cherish and look back on, moments are all about life but material crap won’t hold your hand.

I am glad I am starting to see someone because it makes me look at my life differently and what I really want. I won’t end up with him permanently that I am sure of because I feel that I need to date several guys over a period of time before I make the decision to settle down with just one.

I thought I would end up with someone who has been in my life for the past 3-4 yrs. but that will never happen and I am moving on. We have never met and never will so it’s time to cut my losses and move forward. He doesn’t know me anymore than I know him and he won’t even meet me to see if he would be interested in going further.

So I have finally made the decision to move on and leave him to his own devices. He makes me feel like I am not good enough for him or pretty enough, thin enough, have enough money. I don’t want a damn thing from him and that includes supporting me, I did want one thing, his love but that will never happen so he’s being left behind while I find someone who cares about me and will love me.

I am over flowing with love and affection and I have wasted it for years on him and it’s time to respect and love myself enough to find someone who will truly appreciate what I have to offer as a woman and a lover. I have no doubt in time I will be happy for the rest of my life but for now I am just redefining Kimberly.

Only The Guilty

Are you cheating on your spouse, lover or significant other? Do you  have any idea how much you will destroy them when they find out? Maybe you are not cheating but you may be lieing to them regularly as he is with me.

He thinks I do not know or is it we choose to ignore that I know, no he continues to lie to me when I call him out on another lie. He won’t show up tomorrow, no he will just hand me another lie as why  he can’t be with me.

I do not know why he even bothers to lie as I already know there is no us, never was and never will be so why does he keep saying we will be together? It’s not like he has to lie to me because I wouldn’t know if it was the truth or a lie.

He gets nothing from me and never will again so maybe this is his sick idea of making me feel good. I don’t know what he is up to but it’s not going to be having dinner with me tomorrow, that I can bet one.