A Deep Well

The one thing I have always wanted in my life is to be able to trust someone without fear that they will turn on me. I thought I had found my best friend in my husband but I found out how evil he could be. I opened myself up to him like a deep well and I exposed some of my deepest, darkest experiences. What did he do with that information? Used it against me telling my friends, his attorney and the mediator his embellished version. of course his version either bordered on a lie or was a lie.


I hate it so when you trust someone and they share your information with others. In my case my husband used my most personal and deepest, darkest secrets against me during our divorce.

I tried so hard to have a friendly divorce but that wasnt the case. My husband wanted everything in the divorce even though he came into the marriage with nothing but bills. He was all about impressing people with the material shit we had together, of course he would claim that everything was because of him.

Its important to be able to trust your partner because without trust you have nothing. I so wish I would meet someone that makes my heart skip a beat. I have no doubt there is a wonderful love out there somewhere looking for me.

I so need a dominant male that isn’t afraid to challenge me and isn’t afraid to explore my sexual side. I so enjoy sex that connects me with my partner because I find random sex to leave me feeling flat and empty.

My daughter had a “one night stand” that lasted a few weeks and then he disappeared without so much as a fuck off. I felt so bad for her because she was so upset and crying but I warned her not to bone him.

She asked me if I ever had had a one night stand and told her yes. I was honest with her because I think most of us have experienced a one night stand. Im sure next time she will be more cautious before she drops her panties and lets her heart spill out.

I so miss the touch of a man and the excitement that comes with making love. I enjoy using oils and massaging the male body and no part is exempt from my hands. I know how wonderful tantra is because I experienced the most awesome orgasm I have ever experienced in my life.

The touch of the fingers and hands on the body connect two people and how you explore the body brings the two of you closer. I cannnot wait until I can explore tantra with someone that excites me mentally as well as physically.

Guessing

I still think of him daily, in fact on and off all day, I worry about him constantly and I know he is fine but I am still concerned. He has it all but the one thing he really wants and needs and no one can help him but himself and he has found random casual sex is no longer fulfilling.

He is lonely but no one would ever think or guess that he is as he puts on such a happy face to all except to his best buddy. He knows what “the man” is lacking and he knows in time things will change for the man but as of now things will stay the same.

He is committed to his position and he gets lost in his dreams just waiting impatiently for the time he has waited for, for as long as he can remember. He knows what he wants and who he wants but he can do nothing about it right now.

He isn’t doing what he loves, no he is doing what he knows and at times he wishes things were different. He knows she waits and she cares and he knows she wants no one but him, yet they have never met but he knows where her heart is.

He knows she is not a typical woman and he knows she is different in many ways and he refuses to let go of what he wants. He stalks her online and he worries that someone will snatch her up before he gets an opportunity to even meet her.

He imagines what life would be like with her sexually and he wonders if she is real or she exaggerates who she is. He wonders so many things about her and he tests her constantly to see if she is committed to him and him alone.

She has given up on waiting and she is searching but will not find what she seeks as she seeks him and only him. He is special to her and always has been, she has not and will not open her heart to another because she knows what others do not.

She believes in destiny and God’s word and God has set his master plan in motion and he will see to it that the people that should be together will be together and nothing will stop that.