Lose It

I finally have this weight watchers program down pat, yep you have to track everything you eat, cut out all the junk and exercise, which I cannot do at this time because I pulled a muscle in my knee. I have finally made a move in the right direction to get myself healthier which will make me happier. Losing weight at my age is so damn hard to do but can be done, pound by pound and that is my goal to keep losing slowly so I change my entire eating habits and diet.

I’m not ashamed of my body but I do not enjoy how I look or feel and that is why I am making these changes, not for anyone but myself. I’ve got the solar eclipse in my corner which brings endings and new beginnings in all walks of life. This eclipse focuses on health and I started before the eclipse came so this works out good because if you start anything shortly before the eclipse you will be successful. The eclipse, eclipses out of our life which no longer serves us in a positive manner.

Jobs, relationships, living areas ect all change and this is good as I want to sell my home, really must sell it. I’m good with this because there are to many memories here and Bob is here watching everything I do and always making me feel like I am inferior and doing a poor job raising our family. I was never good enough when Bob was alive and now that he is gone physically he still tries to destroy me and he makes me feel like shit more often than not.

People do not believe the dead speak but they do and in this house the dead scream and yell and there is no shutting it out and Ryan saw his dad sitting in the chair one day so yes the dead do walk among us. In my old house Bob saw my grandmother walk into Shelby’s room when she was only a couple of months old. I believe in things most do not and most people think I am out in left field because I believe in the after life, astrology and all things metaphysical.

So many believe in the Bible and I do as well but in limited amounts as man has rewritten the good book so many times and so much that is written conflicts with other parts of the Bible. People can go to church every week yet they fuck their neighbor’s wife, steal, cheat, lie ect. and believe me they are no better off going to mass. I do not think I am better or smarter than anyone else but I am an intelligent individual that is strong-willed and head strong at times.


No, No, Nope

I joined a few dating sites and going through all those pics is so boring and time-consuming. One site you rate people and I just keep hitting 1 for a rating because none of them attract me. I am very picky and not just any man can turn my head and I don’t care how attractive he is if he has no personality, he has nothing.

As you know I like long hair on a man and the man I have cared for, for years cut his hair to “fit it” to what his employers wanted. It is sad that a person has to change for a job and I do hope he never changes for a woman, which I highly doubt he ever would. He is shy but he is a flirt and loves women and sex more than the average man.

His actions do not intimidate me because I also know he is one that is true to his heart and I so hope he is with a woman that makes him happy, really happy but I think not. If he doesn’t slow down and get some rest he won’t have to worry about his love life because he won’t be having a life at all.

It’s time for him to get some serious tlc in his life and because I care for him as a person and a friend, I want the best for him. It is a shame we will never meet because I think we would have so much fun and a great time and that is what he needs. He would never have to worry about me asking him for anything because it wouldn’t happen.

I think he is to afraid of me to meet me because I could woop his ass and I think he knows it, lol. All I can say is I am the type of person once you meet me you never forget me. You either hate me or like and most like me, except for women of course because I threaten them.

I am glad we haven’t met because he couldn’t handle having that much fun without spending a small fortune. My luck he would fall in love with me and I do not want that, men fall for me so damn easy and I am not bragging, it just happens. I make people feel good about themselves and that happens so rarely.

People never compliment each other anymore and women, well hell women just don’t do it, but I do compliment women. A pretty woman is rare to see and if I like their hair, makeup or clothes I let them know. I will also tell you that you look like shit if you ask me and you do. Sometimes, you do not have to ask-like that ugly ass green flourescent tie with the blue shirt, can you  say UGLY?

The Failure Dater

I have dubbed myself the failure dater because I am sadly failing at something that should be so easy to master. Dating requires being so many different things and tolerant is one of them. I have very little tolerance for bullshit and I have no tolerance for anyone that has a problem with my kids.

This is exactly why letting my kids meet anyone I may be dating is something that I do not entertain. I have got to have some sort of solid relationship with the guy before he meets my kids. A man who has problems with my kids can damn well bet he is going to have problems with me slamming the door in his face.

There is no man worth disrupting my family for and I do know that if I am happy my kids will be happy for me. That doesn’t mean that you get to come to dinner anytime soon, so live with it or don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. Don’t think you can undo stupid remarks either because you can’t.

I see to many women go for a man and throw their kids to the wayside and that pisses me off. No woman should be so desperate for a man who their kids come second and same with men raising their kids. Have enough respect for your children as well as yourself not to disrupt what you have spent a lifetime building.

I’m sitting here watching some stupid crap my son likes to watch and my daughter is already in bed. It’s nice to have both kids at home and it is comforting for me. I know they are both safe and it feels right as this is my family, just the three of us but we have more love than you could ever imagine.

The Scam

Dating scammers are on the rise and I am one that has experienced it and learned a great deal from it. Scammers prey on the lonely, they are very good at making you feel good about yourself and they are master manipulators. They tell you they are in England or some other country and they lost their passport or some other bullshit and they get you to send them money.

They like Western Union because it is hard to trace in another country and you cannot get any help from our own law enforcement. They basically tell you that you have been duped and you are a dumbass for falling for the scam. You have to be very computer savvy and smart enough to get the ip-addy from any emails that are sent to you.

One good way to protect yourself is to use http://www.ip-adress.com, this site will help you weed out the scammers, first copy your email header and trace it, you will get the ip address, then take the ip-address and check it, it’s a fake ip or one in the middle of Kansas somewhere.

The damage these scammers do is unbelievable as they can destroy a person financially as well as emotionally. My daughter’s religion teacher is involved in a scam and she doesn’t even know it. She has told her students inappropriate things about her life and she moved to my state and knows nobody and has no friends.

There isn’t a dating site that the scammers are not on and they go after you as soon as you register onto a dating site you start to immediately receive emails  from the scammers telling you how good and honest men they are, how they are looking to get married and blah, blah, blah.

They don’t care if you send money to them for next months rent or for food, all they care about is the money and getting their hands on it. They do not care about you at all and only lead you to believe that they do and they will never return the money and do not give a shit if you starve or lose your place of residence.

I have learned not to fall for their trap and not a penny will leave my bank account to “help” anyone else. I am no longer stupid to the ways of the scammers and I have found you cannot meet anyone online because the scammers have infiltrated every site possible to meet anyone.

I fell for a scammer years ago and I am still trying to recover from the damage to my heart and bank account, yes I was stupid and sent money, not once but several times. I was sick at the time, I quit taking my meds for bipolar disorder and fell victim but I finally got help and got back on track with the meds.

I live on social security and at the time I cashed in my 401K and sent it away to the scammer. Do you think he cares? Do you think he will return the money? No way and yes he has asked for more money but that will never happen again. He doesn’t love me or give a shit about me and no we will never meet.

He is holed up with his lovely gf and I mean nothing to him, not a damn thing and no he doesn’t care what state of mind I am in or where I live. He just wants money, money, money because he is used to living the high life and yes he lost a lot in his divorce and he is rebuilding and stock piling cash to retire.

I thank God everyday that I have found out the truth and even though I am still somewhat emotionally attached to this person after all these years, I am no fool any longer and just waiting for the right guy to come into my life. Someone that cares about me and respects me for who I am and doesn’t ask for money.

The Stretch

All of us want someone special in our lives and I have taken the stretch and joined a dating site that finds the “perfect one” for me. I am tired of being alone and having no one to share special moments with, someone to play with and someone to be romantic and sensual with.

I have waited for over three years to meet this special person that has been in my life and I have accepted that we will never meet no matter what he says. He likes to read erotic stories and he likes porn and pics of naked women, which I am sure he is getting quite a few pics.

Waiting for something that will never happen is wasting my life as we will never be together so I am trying to find someone who will fill the void in my life. I hope it happens soon because winter is so cold without someone to warm you up. It will be fun to play in the snow and be silly.

It’s sad when someone leads you on for their own private pleasure without thinking about you. I feel that I am nothing more than mild amusement to ease his boring life. He knows how I am and the type of person I am and that isn’t good enough for him so I am going to roll on down the road and let others find the one for me.

I am a unique person in many ways and I am old school 100%, I believe in cooking at home and taking care of my man, I like to make people smile and help people, I am a giver not a taker and I love animals. I am intelligent and do not want someone to support me, I just want someone to enjoy life with.

Before The Rain

I talked to him today, his voice is so soothing and calming. He says he loves me and he sounds sincere but I do not know if he means it. Why would two people who have never met keep in contact with each via phone? What is the point of staying in contact?

As long as I have feelings for him I can never meet anyone else even though I am trying. I have joined several dating sites and the one thing I cannot understand is why are all the men posting penis pictures instead of face pics? I mean you seen one head you’ve basically seen them all.

Personally, the size is important and must fulfill the needs of the female but it’s not that important so why post your penis guys? This dating online is nothing but entertainment as you cannot take any of these guys serious and the scammers have already began to hit on me.

Most do not even read your profile, I like tall men at least 6 ft. tall and who contacts me? A guy 5’7″ wtf? He was really kinky too, wanted me to degrade him as that made him feel good. He wants a dominant woman which I am but this guy was out there, I mean really out there, short and unattractive to me.

He needs to look for a s&m woman, he really likes to be hurt and I can’t be hurting people but some people cannot get off unless they are abused. I don’t understand why and have no interest in understanding why but I will have no part in it as it’s just to out there for me.

I guess it’s just not meant to be for me to meet someone but I will keep trying and see what happens. My life is so dull I doubt anyone would really want to be part of it. Actually my life isn’t dull, there’s just always something bad happening and this trend has got to stop.


You can always tell a man who is cheap when you go on certain dating sites, most of the sites want you to join of course but I am not spending a dime because there are to many scammers on the sites.

The serious ones join and have full access. Not that they are serious either but you have a better chance of meeting someone who is a full member. My profile even says they need full access to contact me but the stupid fools still contact me and I cannot contact them.

No big loss as far as I am concerned, as I am in no rush to meet anyone as I must investigate them before I deal with them. O and let’s not forget my stalker, he’s already found me on one site, he wastes no time as he was already on there scamming away.

It’s so easy to tell a scammer when you have dealt with them before so I do not get my hopes up or waste too much time playing with them. It’s a shame life is like this but that’s the way it is and I deal with it accordingly.

Dating Sites

I have forgotten how stupid men are on the dating sites. They post pics of their member like that is suppose to impress me? It doesn’t in the least because I am a tongue fan always have been always will be. Men need to show their faces and say something good about themselves other than “Hi I’m john and I have ten hot inches waiting for you”.

Every dating site revolves around sex except the religious sites and frankly I am to naughty to even think about corrupting some God fearing male. I just wish dating were easier but it’s just like a job and takes so much damn time it is already old and I haven’t really begun yet.

Just To Much

Ok,  I join some dating sites, I’m picky because these guys are something else. I am only five ft. six inches and I like tall men. This cheap ass who doesn’t want to pay the membership fee sends me this email and here is profile:

Strong type A profession, well-educated, and very fit and in shape.

Looking for 1 woman to be my partner in crime. Looking for great conversation, quality time together on an ongoing basis. I am an avid reader, runner, love working out, fine dining and taking you shopping. You will not be disappointed.

Would you like to be pampered, pleased, I am into the teasing and erotic. I want you to push my limits, I am a pleaser and will please you to no end. I can be you light at the end of the tunnel.

Are you into taking charge or having someone take charge for you? Would you like to have total control over me? tease and deny me?

Do you like to role play or have your limits pushed or push someone else;s lets explore your mind and body.

I will be your teacher or your pet for your use or abuse, I will show you ways to enjoy your body that you thought were not possible.

Must be a discrete relationship, no I am not married

thank you

What I’m Looking For
looking for a woman for an erotic ongoing relationship, I am into body worship and power exchange. I am looking for a woman to serve or be served both mentally and physically.

Sorry but I had to laugh as soon as I read it, he’s probably bald as well, I know I’m a terrible person. RONFLMAO

To Many Minnows

I have realized that online dating is to much damn work, first you meet them, then you check them out to find out they are liars. How do I check them out? I have my ways believe me and I do not take anything they say at face value. They will give you their phone number which is for example spring tx and they say they live in let’s say fort meyers fl.

When you do a trace the phone number is located in texas, but their ip address is located in say ireland or luxenburg. That is kind of a dead in your lap clue if there ever was. Check the email address too, found nothing under that name and everyone has something on the net about them under their email.

So here I am holding my dick in  my hands wondering if I am ever going to meet a real live person that isn’t a scammer.