I finally have this weight watchers program down pat, yep you have to track everything you eat, cut out all the junk and exercise, which I cannot do at this time because I pulled a muscle in my knee. I have finally made a move in the right direction to get myself healthier which will make me happier. Losing weight at my age is so damn hard to do but can be done, pound by pound and that is my goal to keep losing slowly so I change my entire eating habits and diet.
I’m not ashamed of my body but I do not enjoy how I look or feel and that is why I am making these changes, not for anyone but myself. I’ve got the solar eclipse in my corner which brings endings and new beginnings in all walks of life. This eclipse focuses on health and I started before the eclipse came so this works out good because if you start anything shortly before the eclipse you will be successful. The eclipse, eclipses out of our life which no longer serves us in a positive manner.
Jobs, relationships, living areas ect all change and this is good as I want to sell my home, really must sell it. I’m good with this because there are to many memories here and Bob is here watching everything I do and always making me feel like I am inferior and doing a poor job raising our family. I was never good enough when Bob was alive and now that he is gone physically he still tries to destroy me and he makes me feel like shit more often than not.
People do not believe the dead speak but they do and in this house the dead scream and yell and there is no shutting it out and Ryan saw his dad sitting in the chair one day so yes the dead do walk among us. In my old house Bob saw my grandmother walk into Shelby’s room when she was only a couple of months old. I believe in things most do not and most people think I am out in left field because I believe in the after life, astrology and all things metaphysical.
So many believe in the Bible and I do as well but in limited amounts as man has rewritten the good book so many times and so much that is written conflicts with other parts of the Bible. People can go to church every week yet they fuck their neighbor’s wife, steal, cheat, lie ect. and believe me they are no better off going to mass. I do not think I am better or smarter than anyone else but I am an intelligent individual that is strong-willed and head strong at times.