Growing Up

Our children grow up so fast that we blink and they are adults. My daughter wants to be a judge one day and I have been able to secure her a job with my attorney when she graduates in May. We went out shopping today because she needed some boots for winter and she found some she really liked so of course I bought them for her.

I was able to save ten grand for each of my kids before my husband could spend it, I had money put aside to cover college but he pissed it away. My daughter is finally realizing that she cannot afford an apartment and school and she is also knows that if her and her boyfriend break up she needs to live somewhere and home is the place.

tomorrow we go before the court to see what will happen with my kids, Ryan wants to stay with me and Shelby wants to stay at her boyfriends, cps is going to recommend to the court that Shelby return home and the court generally adopts cps recommendations. I am looking forward to rebuilding a relationship with my daughter before she fly’s the coop.

Then on Thursday I go on trial for a felony charge which is bullshit and even the probate judge said the same thing and that will be used in my favor during the trial.  My attorney isn’t worried one bit so I guess I won’t worry either about the outcome, the cops think they are judges and juries these days and make some real stupid mistakes which cost them.

I love my kids but it’s time for me to find my own way and Ryan will be gone in two years and I will be by myself completely. I need to meet someone or my house will be full of dogs again, lol. I want to be able to not worry any longer about my son committing suicide and I hope we can get through this terrible phase in his life.

 

Of Age

I have been told to act my age, well what the fuck is that suppose to mean anyway? Because I’m 52 years old I am suppose sit back in a rocker and watch the neighborhood children play? Fuck that shit, I want to play yes I want to continue to play in the rain.

I am one that loves to be silly, stupid, funny, outrageous and creative as hell. I do not need some asswipe to tell me to act my age. Because I do not act like I have one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel does not mean I am not acting my age.

Don’t let life pass you by because you feel you are “too old” to act on or act out your emotions. Let me walk naked through the streets painted in fluorescent 

I am not to damn old and of course I am no longer limber but that is ok, let me do flips in a corporate meeting or hand my co-worker a new vibrator and cock ring for their birthday. Being outrageous is what I do best and I enjoy the hell out of myself doing it to.

With age does come wisdom and I have turned love making into a song, the rain into wind and the soil into a tree. I am of different and unique, the undesirable and punished and the hope of the world. That is what age does to you. You can see the colors of the rainbow very clearly and you can act upon them without fear of rejection.