Destine To Be

I am very spiritual and believe strongly in God but I am not a “Jesus Freak” or pound the pavement trying to get others to believe in my beliefs. I am a “quiet” believer in God as I carry him within my heart but do not speak of what I believe in to others.

Everyone has the right to believe in their own form of “God” and I believe God has a plan for each and every one of us. I believe that God protects and watches over me and I believe he has chosen who I shall spend the rest of my life with.

I am a one man woman and do not take relationships lightly, I am totally committed or not committed at all and that is how I am when I am involved with someone. That person becomes the only one that gets my affection and I find that hard for others to do.

I want to be of help to the person of my affections and I want to see that their life is happy and I am always there for them. I accept them for who they are and do not try to change them as I do not want anyone to try and change me.

I have my quirks like most people but nothing dramatic or out of the ordinary, I love to make people laugh and make them happy and I enjoy taking care of the one that is receiving my love. Love is defined differently by each person but I believe it is respect, caring, helping, understanding, communication and so much more.

I want love in my life and I want to share my life with another, I have reached the point that I am ready for a relationship. It’s been a year and one half since my husband passed and I have not been with a man since he passed.

You know when you are finally ready to get involved and for me it’s been a hell of a long time but yes I am ready and I know that I am ready to love someone and to be loved by them. I want to be held so bad and feel the arms of a man around me.

I want to lie in bed next to man and feel loved, really feel loved and I want to have fun and enjoy life with another. I hadn’t realized that life without love is quite barren until recently, yes I do want to be loved and to love and I want to laugh and be silly.

I do not know why God is keeping the man of my affections from coming to me but I do believe everything happens when it is suppose to and not a minute sooner. You cannot speed up what God controls and you cannot make things happen before their time.

We are destine to be together one day as that is what God has planned for both of us. He set the wheels in motion three years ago and they are still spinning. One day I will be with my soul mate and that day cannot come soon enough.

Tango

I am starting to understand how the dating process works these days and wow have they changed considerably in the last twenty years. Things are all about sex and that is the beginning of conversations and then you move on to the get to know you phase.

This is all quite backwards to me but I am finding it fun non the less. I don’t know if he realizes I am kidding with him most of the time but I wish I could see his face for his reactions. I’m sure he thinks I’m an arrogant bitch but I do not mean a single thing I type.

I am just messing with him and I think he is starting to pick up on when I’m joking as I am getting more lol’s out of him which means he is understanding my lack of seriousness in our conversations. I’m glad I  can make him laugh and make him feel care free because I know I do.

He needs just to relax and I think I help him accomplish that, at least I hope I do. I think he works way to much and I think he hides in his work as most workaholics do. His hours may be part of his job but he needs to be good to himself.

I’m starting to believe that he has feelings for me and I like talking to him, I can read him very well which is odd but I can tell when he is stressed out and tired. I’m really looking forward to meeting him and just relaxing together and talking and sleeping.

I know I should be excited about sex but I’m not for some reason I’m more interested in knowing about him and making his body and mind relaxed. I really am looking forward to bathing him and lieing in bed together just touching each other.

I know that is being quite idealistic but sometimes two people can communicate so well just by touching and even though we both have a huge sex drive I really look forward to simple times and relaxing. I know that sounds boring as hell but it can be quite nice.

I’m not going to see much of him as it is so I am not interested in going to any place we cannot talk and get to know each other. He seems like a real nice guy and I really like his voice as it is manly yet boyish which I like. He seems to be getting used to talking to me more and he even offered to talk to me after he jacked off but I knew he needed to unwind.

I get the feeling he contacts me as soon as he walks in his door and that’s a nice feeling, real nice feeling. It’s nice to get to know someone without seeing them then there are no preconceived notions and I do not care what he looks like.

He’s tall and I like that, the men in my family were tall and they made me feel safe and protected so I guess that’s the attraction to height. The 28th can’t get here soon enough for me and that is something I am not used to. I am not used to looking forward to something and I like it, I like it a lot.