Death Of A Fruit Fly

I like bananas but I do not like fruit fly’s and they are so hard to get rid of even with a jar of juice covered with wax paper with holes in it. I do not like a messy house and I definitely do not like fruit fly’s. I have had to learn to step up my game and find new ways to do things because of my bad back and knee.

I discovered the wonders of the shop vac and weed blower as I suck up the fruit fly’s and catch most of them in the disposal and I use the leaf blower to clean under the bed and couches. I know this blows dust all over but it’s the only way to get this house clean. My son is a typical lazy fifteen year old so I am on my own most of the time.

I can no longer lift, shove and push things the way I used to and age has left its mark on my body. I have “war wounds” from caring for my husband and doing other things the female body was not built to do. If I ever won the lottery I would have a housekeeper for the simple fact that it’s to hard for me.

Back to sucking up the last of the fruit fly’s and there I times I wish the hose was bigger so I could suck up my son, lol just kidding, not.

Slight

My hand is gently touching the side of your face, slowly sliding down your neck. I am looking deep into your eyes as I raise my other hand and start to unbutton your shirt. I remove your shirt from your shoulders and let it fall freely to the floor as you stand staring back at me.

I undo your belt, unzip and unbutton your pants and let them fall to your ankles as I slowly bend down and have you lift each foot as I remove your shoes, sox and pants. You are standing there naked except for your boxer briefs and you look down and into my eyes.

Now, go back to work and stay busy ok? Just thought I would throw a bit of a fantasy your way to start off your mid morning love, lol  mwaaahhhhhhhhh

U R Fool A

We make such silly mistakes in our lives and some really dumb decisions and we do not like the consequences. Life isn’t waiting for any of us and you are old today as you will ever be at this age which basically means you will never be this exact age again. We think live will hold for us and when we realize it won’t it’s usually too late.

People dress for success and when they are alone they can be themselves. People act a certain way to impress others and that is a fact which cannot be ignored. I want the real you not the fake and the phony shown to the world, I need the real thing, a real direction, a real love.

so-i-made-up-my-mind-B

We will always have a connection and that cannot be denied but the games are old and I’m tired of the ties we end up. I can’t waste time because I am not broken any longer, I have rebuilt myself, stronger and in control, no more little girl lost no I am a woman with a definite direction which includes you.

Turning Tables

He is gone, the wind he whistles to me in hopes that I can hear him. He is turning tables on me now, He has left me empty handed and praying to the Lord for help and guidance. He just left, no good byes, no see ya laters, no anything as he just walked out the door leaving his body behind.

His soul flew high and he is soaring high without me and he doesn’t need me any longer but someone else does, I am sure. Every year he was here giving me unwanted presents at xmas and now that I want those household items he isn’t here to give them. Everytime I see a front load washer and dryer I think of him.

Is it stupid? Is it a bit narcissistic? Is it about being confused and uncertain? He watches and laughs as he knows I will find my way somehow and he knows he is tripping me up. He always wanted to trip me up and now he is and he no longer has me chasing pavement, he is gone, his spirit is above.

It’s hard to be without my husband at times and I miss him because I wanted to keep him alive and I tried with every ounce of who I am. I lost battle and the war and he won as he looks down and says “See, I knew you would miss me”. He haunts me and he touches my shoulder as I cry and he says ” honey, I left so the one that should be with you will be with you, don’t give up hope on your dreams because he will come to you and make you so happy”.

I have accepted the fact that my husband did fall for me and loved me. He couldn’t let go of the best thing that ever happened to him. Those are his words not mine, I was a damn good wife and I am a damn good mother regardless of my present circumstances. My husband wants me to move on and let in the love I want so desperately.

He gave me a life pass to search and find myself and the love that should be in my life. He is a kind loving man and he supports me and has let me go long ago. It has always felt like he was there judging me, condemning me, criticising me, when the fact is he only supported me all along.

Kleen X

I have two adorable miniature yorkies that keep me laughing and of course picking up. They have a thing for toilet paper, paper ect. and they love to tear it up. They got a hold of the toilet paper roll and now I have bits and pieces of paper everywhere. These little guys make me so happy and they make me laugh until I pee.

Pet therapy is wonderful and so helpful when you are down and out and even my son is taken by them. He is actually cleaning up after them for a change. I let Ryan hold them on the way home when I bought them and they think he is their “daddy”. They follow him everywhere and take their naps with him.

Many years ago I used to raise exotic birds and I had everything from finches to a hyacinth macaw and I would take my baby cockatiels and go to a nursing home. I gave the elderly babies and supplies all the food and necessities. A lot of the elderly had no family that visited them and the birds filled a void.

Pets can make us feel so much better and Michael and Gabriel keep me on my toes. They are so small and they run like little gazelle’s through the house. My house is set up so you can run down the hall and through the kitchen to the great room and back to the hall so there is a complete circle which has turned into doggie derby, lol.

Khloe kitty loves the boys, lol they fight and play and Khloe does the hide jump maneuver which is hilarious to watch. She thinks she is hiding and when the pups walk bye she jumps on the and plays. This house is like a racetrack as these three chase each other and they put love and life back into my home.

WTF?

Ryan and I are watching a sci-fi flick and there are those scary parts that happen and Ryan start yelling at the guy on the tv. Come now, you know you have done this how many times? I do it all the time and when I am at the movie theatre I can hear other people doing the same thing.

Isn’t it funny  how you can watch a flick and you start telling the person on tv what to do or you are asking them, like they are going to answer. Isn’t human nature funny and isn’t it funny how we scream at a tv or in the movie theatre? Asking the movie person why are you just standing there? LOL

Packed & Stacked Luggage

Have you ever really liked someone for a long time and they knew it and just didn’t seem to care? Have you ever finally met someone who makes life fun but the one that didn’t want you before now wants you? Have you told the person that their shit is packed and stacked and they can move on?

Why in the hell do people play hard to get and when you have finally had enough and found someone else all of a sudden they want to be with you? Well, it’s just a bit too late because I do not have time to waste on someone who plays games. I have a very nice man in my life that is almost everything I have ever wanted in a person.

I am not giving him up for someone who now wants me, maybe for the day or week but not interested in seeing if there is anything else to build a relationship on. “C” is a pretty fantastic guy and I will never really know him anymore than I knew my husband of 18 yrs. My husband hid a part of himself that was not admirable in the least.

All people have a hidden side that comes out during divorce time or separation time and they are evil mother’s now aren’t they? I have just gotten tired of the chase and now I am running and trying to leave a trail of barbed wire behind me. He thinks this is some kind of game but it is my life and I am trying to be happy, FINALLY.

I have no intentions of ever meeting this man because I tried once before and he played me, again. No more chances for him and I am done and if he thinks I am kidding he better realize that I am deleting him and blocking him, he can go play with someone elses mind and heart because mine is off the market.

Kid Silly

I do some really silly things because that is how I roll and one of those things involves whip cream in a can. Today’s kids go into the grocery and get high off of the gas inside the can but I chose to eat it, lol. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about that can of cream in the fridge waiting just to be squirted.

I like squirting whip cream into my mouth and I like to spray in on a man and lick it off. I like to squirt it on the puppies noses and watch them lick it off. Whip cream is fun and tastes good and now they even make it in chocolate, be still my beating heart. I chased Ryan around with the can and sprayed him, lol.

You have to do silly things with your kids because life is always so serious and these silly moments make us laugh. Ryan was running around the house and then he would reverse and go the other way, making it hard for me to catch him. I like the sound of laughter from my kids and I really like when we can laugh together.

Ooh Threats

I have some hacker that is on topface acting like he is from another country. The funny thing is he has a Minnesota ip address. What a jerk, wants me to get naked and masturbate online with him, like that is going to happen. He says he is going to trash my profile like I really do not care.

He has a serious problem if he thinks threatening me is going to get him anywhere because it won’t. Men are so stupid sometimes and this is a perfect example.  Men that try to use sex to control a woman has picked the wrong woman because I do not have a sense of humor when it comes to this.

This jerk either can’t get a woman his age or he thinks older women want him, lol. He said he was going to crack all of my passwords, ok have at it. Some people have serious control issues and I think he has one and is probably short as well. Why does this have to be so difficult?

Maybe I will just focus on “C” which I am but these guys on these dating sites give me free entertainment as they make an ass out of themselves. Maybe other women have cam sex with strangers but not me, I save that shit for someone special and I have yet to meet that individual.

Just For Me?

He stays away and makes money but has no time to spend that money, or does he? He says he wants to be with me, ya like I believe that line of crap. He has followed me online for years and lied all the way, he knows I know who he is yet he still hides like a little boy. I have become his “friend”. 

He reads everything I post because it appears that I am the only “real” person in his life. He sits back and laughs, feels sorry for me and I piss him off. I enjoy pissing him off because he deserves it for all that he has done. He thinks I wait for him, ya just like I’m waiting for a serious case of diarrhea while shopping.

It must be nice to sit back and read about my life and say you want to marry me, like that will NEVER happen. I do not envy him nor do I wish to live his lifestyle. Many would love to be wealthy and famous as he is but I find that to be useless and shallow. He is neither but sometimes people need a swift kick in the behind.

I have my faults but I have some damn good virtues and he doesn’t have a place in my life and he is slipping out of my heart as well. He has watched me suffer yet offers not one word of support. I get more support out of an over bleached bra then I do him and just like that bra, he is being trashed.

You can give for only so long and when you get nothing in return it’s time to pack it and ship it, to let’s say fucking Chile. So go your own way and forget me as I am forgetting you. You are a scammer and always will be, how sickening is that? You stole from me and my children you fuck.