Feminine Control

IMG_3788Women can control men so easily and men fall for it most of the time. I was listening to my daughter talk to her bf and she was bossing him around and he just couldn’t jump fast enough. One thing I have learned in my life is when someone jumps and does everything for someone they are also building anger.

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When you boss someone around they begin to feel less than who they are and their self esteem is affected. Eventually, they blow up and want to control everything. There is no more “honey how much money do we have?” There are no more days where one is asking the other about bills being paid ect., it’s proof time.

I watched this happen with my husband, he accused me of hiding money and making investments he didn’t know about. Hell, I wasn’t hiding a damn thing, he just never cared as long as he had his cigarettes and food to eat. He cashed in so many investments and screwed the kids but that is water under the bridge.

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I am thinking about making some very radical moves where my son Ryan is concerned. I am tossing back and forth about letting him test out for his g.e.d. and put him into college. I don’t know we will have to see, his attorney thinks it might just be the way to go with Ryan.

Shelby is finding her own voice and finally standing up for herself with me. She is still afraid I am going to get mad at her but I am trying to explain how hard it is. I am letting go of my little girl and watching a woman emerge and  that isn’t so easy for me to swallow even though I must.

Seriously Now

People move to fast in today’s world and everyone wants everything right now and that includes relationships. I am very cautious of people and relationships because I am afraid to get hurt. “C” and I have spent time together and we talk on the phone and skype all the time.

He’s talking about Christmas and us possibly living together, I haven’t been seeing him a month and he is talking like this. I am not going to live with him, we haven’t even done the deed. Why do people feel so threatened  and think if you are married, living together or are a couple that you and every thing you do should revolve around them.

You cannot control anyone and being in a relationship doesnt  give you the right of control.  “C” is jealous of “him” which is so stupid but it is quite obvious. I told “C” that “he” said he would meet me in vegas in January and we both busted out laughing when I told him. We know that will never happen because “he” likes to play games.

The way things work out for me is I would go to vegas and he wouldn’t show of course and I would end up hurt and disappointed again and I will not let him do that to me. If he wanted to meet me he would make arrangements to do so which would be convenient for me and my safety. Who knows he might be the next one that is into white slavery or something off the wall.

No Man Catch

Women use some shady tactics to “catch a man” but the things they should be doing they seem to forget are important. Men do not like to be tricked or manipulated anymore than a woman. Men do not find the helpless, innocent, ignorant female to be attractive no matter how pretty they may be.

Men like women that are confident, independent, senual, romantic and of course sexual. Men do not like the women that chase them and they do not like women to hang on them. Men like an intelligent woman, a woman of substance, someone who is interested in them not who or what they have.

Men love to give a woman presents but the woman who accepts every gift is a damn fool. Gifts are nice but if you do not limit the ones you accept then you are losing part of yourself. I do not want a man to think I live for his presents because I am not like that and presents should only be given on special occasions.

I like to keep communication always open because as parents, we have a responsibility to our loved ones and to ourselves and letting each other know what is going on in our lives singularly as well as collectively keeps us on the same path. A relationship that is healthy is very important to me and this man makes me happy.

I want to see him healthy and happy and I want us to always be best friends first, lovers and a couple that respect each other enough to have trust, faith and love. I have no doubt with open lines of communication we will build a foundation for our relationship that is unmovable.

It’s All New

If you are thinking about starting a new job or business, taking a relationship to the next level, building a home or anything that is a new beginning, you couldn’t have picked a better time. When you have a Lunar Moon backing up your move it is like having the entire world as your backer.

I am very thankful for this coming Lunar Moon because my life is changing quite a bit and it is all for the good. I have the backing needed to open my heart to a relationship and I have the support needed to make it a successful relationship. I am looking into starting a business because I need the money to help my daughter through college

My kids are my total responsibility and no one elses and I will get my kids through school on my own because, well because I can and I am determined enough to find a way to make money. I thought about becoming a dating scammer but to be honest I am to lazy to invest that much time into someone just to rip them off.

To be honest I rather do phone sex because it’s easy money and you can work your own hours. I will do what I need to, to get the money to get my daughter through school and then she has law school. She wants to be a judge one day and my attorney Scott is going to give her a job next spring.

I am starting to trust someone and that is scary because when I start to trust you I become vulnerable and I do hope I am not making a mistake by letting this person near my heart. I do hope he realizes this is a huge step for both of us and I think we are both walking on egg shells getting to this point.

He has had to admit something and he did last night, which I was literally shocked that he did. He took a hell of a chance finally opening up to me but I  think he finally realized he was losing and I wasn’t playing. We are finally in a place where he is comfortable setting a time and place to meet me.

The timing is as it should be because the next two years will be the “training ground” for our relationship. He will be gone a lot but we will be able to see each other maybe once every couple of months. This is a nice way to build a relationship because the distance allows us to focus on who we are and showing that to each other.

We both have a over the top sex drive and I think cam sex and phone sex keep a relationship hot and exciting. I think skype chat is a great way for us to keep in touch. I am so, I don’t know the word but for him to show himself last night just floors me because he trusts me that much.

You have no idea what his trust means to me and I am totally floored, literally in shock. It makes me feel so good that I have finally earned his trust and believe me to earn his trust is saying something. We have four years behind us and now we have each other and moving slowly is what we both feel comfortable doing.

 

Ok You Win

Some people treat love as if it is a win or lose game and it has nothing to do with winning or losing. Some people like to say they won an argument and it makes them feel superior. Relationships are about give and take, understanding and feeling secure, there is nothing worse than a relationship where one is insecure.

You must be able to trust your partner and accept how they live their life and they must respect the same in you. I think long distance relationships can work if the two have trust and some of us cannot help but trust another. I know quite a bit about trust and it is amazing how someone can really let you down and we still have trust in them.

If you are in my life then I trust you  because I have a very small social circle because I do not trust many people and I am quite happy in that area of my life. I look at relationships in an open light because if you cheat on me keep going because if you were happy with me to begin with you wouldn’t be looking elsewhere.

I want people to be happy because life is so much easier when you are happy. I am not happy but I am not terribly unhappy since I got Khloe. I rescued her from the pound and I am not a cat person but she is easy to care for, I will be picking up my yorkie boys this morning and I am happy when I think about those two little shits.

I am happy with my pets more so than most people because I am hope all day and I play with them so much. I should be focusing on “C” but sometimes you meet someone and you have such a friendship connection that sex isn’t thought about. I think that is where “C and I are.

What I was mistaking as “C” falling in love with me I think is actually this awesome friendship like I haven’t had in a real long time. Some people may think it is weird that we can lie naked together and he could bathe me and there is no sex involved. We just click on a different level I think.

I think we both like kissing and lieing together naked and it is like something both of us need, nor more no less. If you know me than you can understand that me being naked most of the time at home is a way of life for me. Yes, I grab a robe now when someone knocks at the door.

Once you are used to someone who is naked most of the time what others would think is terrible is common place with them. I do not walk around naked in front of strangers or my friends because that would make them feel uncomfortable. Being naked is such a free feeling as free as someone feels jumping out of a plane and hearing complete silence except for the wind.

Ooh Threats

I have some hacker that is on topface acting like he is from another country. The funny thing is he has a Minnesota ip address. What a jerk, wants me to get naked and masturbate online with him, like that is going to happen. He says he is going to trash my profile like I really do not care.

He has a serious problem if he thinks threatening me is going to get him anywhere because it won’t. Men are so stupid sometimes and this is a perfect example.  Men that try to use sex to control a woman has picked the wrong woman because I do not have a sense of humor when it comes to this.

This jerk either can’t get a woman his age or he thinks older women want him, lol. He said he was going to crack all of my passwords, ok have at it. Some people have serious control issues and I think he has one and is probably short as well. Why does this have to be so difficult?

Maybe I will just focus on “C” which I am but these guys on these dating sites give me free entertainment as they make an ass out of themselves. Maybe other women have cam sex with strangers but not me, I save that shit for someone special and I have yet to meet that individual.

Preferences

I have a preference for men with shoulder length hair because I like to run my fingers through it. I like tall men because they make me feel safe. I like funny men because laughter is good, I like men to take control most of the time but I like to take control at times. I like to kiss, kissing is romantic and I like romance.

I like men that smell good because I can smell them on my pillow when they are gone. I like to shave from the neck down to toes because I do not like hair or the odor of it on the body. I like a man who smiles, smiling is inviting and warm, I like to hold hands because it is an unspoken connection.

I like to feed a man in bed because I do.I like to massage each other with nice oils and I like to bathe a man. I like to listen to a man about his day, dreams, hopes  wishes. I like to watch a man do what he likes to do the most and I like to watch movies with a man. I just like men, period.

We Want

Women generally to look for a man like their father and men do the same with their mothers. Men tend to prefer self reliant and confident women even if their mother wasn’t that way. Self confidence is a turn on because many do not have it.

I am self confidant because I have had to be and I am self reliant and want no one to take care of me. It’s nice to know that you have someone who will but to rely on them is to put yourself under another’s control, no thank you.

People have lost sight of what marriage is really about and to many give up and get divorced. I was separated for two years and we got back together, not out of love but more out of need. We needed each other and he really needed me.

I would never leave a relationship for another man because I think that ending the current relationship is hard enough without adding another to the mix, but that is just me.I think when you break up you should date people before you decide to settle with one.

It is said the second time around is the sweetest and I want to be damn sure before I m to anyone. I like to move slow in relationships because I want that relationship to have the best start as possible and I want to enjoy the person and learning about them.

I have never needed a man to feel whole but it is nice to have someone you can share ideas with and talk to about your troubles. I do not want someone to fix my shit, no I can do that but it is nice to have someone you trust that you can get feedback from.

No Entry

There is something wrong with me and I am having a difficult time sexually with someone I am seeing.  We have slept together naked and not had sex, only romance and kissing and I know I shouldn’t be complaining because I love romance and kissing.

I want to have sex with him but I can’t, don’t ask me why there is just something stopping me. It’s as if I have sex with him then there is a committed relationship and I do not want that. I am not someone who will have sex for the sake of having sex, if you know what I mean.

I really like “C” but I’m not ready for that leap and he isn’t pushing me, I think I am pushing myself as if I have fallen off a horse and I am getting back on to get over my fear. Men are not horses and I am sure sex is like riding a bike but for some reason I cannot take that step with him.

This is not normal behavior or is it? Do people get afraid to have sex when they have been alone for so long physically? It’s as if sex is a trap that lures you in and grabs you from behind and for me it solidifies a relationship, am I wrong?

Don’t Believe

How do we let ourselves fall in love with someone we have never met and all the conversations are either on computer or phone. Why would someone scam me and then keep following me even though they get no more money from me?

It’s been like four years and he reads every post and contacts me on my fb under so many different names. He knows I know who he really is so why isn’t he smart and just move on? He has never had a single plan of meeting me so what gives?

He has never had a real relationship in his life I do not think he is capable of one even though he was married. I sure would like to talk to that milk man because not a single one of his kids look like him and his profession kept him on the road a lot.

I think he feels safe with me and he has come to rely on me to be there for him when he is bored and lonely, which is every day. If he loved me you would think he would want to make me happy by leaving my life but he is selfish and thinks only of himself.

I also think because of who he is people kiss his ass and blow smoke up it as well. I tell it like it is and I do not think he is used to a confident, self assured (most of the time) independent female that doesn’t want him.

It really is sad to have it all financially yet you do not know who is real in your life or who is using you and how many women are with you because of your name. I think living life that way is worse than any heart break.

He lost me and doesn’t care and neither do I because I have finally met a real man who cares for me and treats me fantastic. We still have the no presents issue that he keeps ignoring and I keep putting the gifts back in his car.

A real woman doesn’t need presents or fancy evenings, a real woman enjoys snuggling by the fireplace and just enjoying his company, but how many real woman are out there? Men love a confidant woman especially one that won’t take their crap and I am not taking any of his.