We keep too much to ourselves and do not express ourselves enough. Everyone should express what they are feeling because nobody can read your mind and I know we expect certain people to be mind readers even though they can never be. Let those emotions out, turn on some music and jam.

Let loose and let the music move through you and go with the flow, it’s fun and it’s daring to let yourself go because we must always be on our best “behavior”. We are always supposed to be so damn prim and proper so for once just let go and enjoy the hell out of yourself, for yourself.


I was raised by my grandparents and they  were from Kentucky. They were typical southern baptists and yes they take singing at mass very important. Music moves us no matter what the lyrics.

I can remember the arms reaching to heaven, fainting, sweating and a lot of hurray’s. Music was based on the gospel and Elvis Presley made it quite famous. He took the gospil and sang it with vim and vigor.



Music Monday

I am starting a “Music Monday” where I will post a new song or songs to open your world up to something you may like or are moved by. The songs will cover all genre’s so I am sure you will not care for some of the songs but at least listen to the lyrics instruments and beat  before you leave 🙂



Travel Rocks

I do not have a clue of what I want in my life but I do know in two more years I am out of here. I am working on getting rid of stuff and I have a lot of stuff and I will be so glad to get rid of it.

I am trying to put as much crap online for sale as possible with xmas so close already people are snatching up my books. I made about 130 dollars last week which isn’t bad for books that I do not need.

I am still donating more stuff to Salvation Army and I want to get rid of as much as possible. Shelby is going to need stuff and so is Ryan so I am looking at getting rid of stuff between the two of them.

I have heirlooms that I have no use for like my mother in-laws china, I am just going to put that stuff online as well. I have my great grandmother’s china which is being passed to Shelby. 

Shelby wants my wedding ring which I think is b.s. because she shouldn’t be using my ring to enhance hers and she told me she wants some diamonds from Bob’s ring and my ring. My ring is worth around 7 or 8 thousand and it is beautiful.

I think I should just sell it and I can replace a banquet for Shelby, that girl does not need my wedding. If her “fiance” at the time can’t afford I nice ring well then he gotta go because her taste is too expensive.

Talk Angel

I have several guardian angels but one steps in front and is always present. He is there but you cannot see him, he hugs me but you cannot feel him. He is my guide, he is my strength.

Below are some quotes that I really like:

Our private thoughts are known only to God. The secret thoughts of all of us are not known by angels or demons or one another. Every prayer, however, is heard instantly by our Guardian Angel. ~ Janice T. Connell, Angel Power

In their role as celestial servants to humans on earth, Angels act variously as guardians, guides, teachers, truth-givers and comforters, protectors of the righteous, punishers of the wicked, and more. ~ David Connolly, In Search of Angels

Angels are principally the guardians of our spirits. Their function is not to do our work for us, but to help us do it ourselves, by God’s grace. ~ Eileen Elias Freeman, The Angels’ Little Instruction Book

These things I warmly wish for you: Someone to love, Some work to do, A bit o’ sun, a bit o’ cheer, And a guardian angel always near ~ Irish Blessing

Your two guardian angels are always with you. The other angels come and go as we need them. ~ Doreen Virtue, Divine Guidance


Turn Away

So you have all the answers to all the questions and you need no one, not your spouse, family or God. You do not believe in God? Then why do you call out his name in your hour of troubled times?

Life isn’t about loving God, life is about doing as God puts forth in front of you and it is you who changes the world by being God’s instrument. Religion has nothing to do with it and neither do personal beliefs.

I am an instrument of God’s love and peace and that is gladly given for the life I live. My life is not happy but maybe it isn’t suppose to be about happiness, maybe it’s suppose to be about lessons and learning at this point.

I love to deeply and feel to strongly but there is a reason for that even if I do not know it at this time. I am happiest when I am doing for others so my life is not my own, it belongs to those that I can make smile, change their world and give them inner peace. 

Adult Embryo Walks

I am supposed to have all the answers but I do not have one and I am but am embryo walking into a new life as each step I take is paved with lessons that the heart does not want to learn. I submerge into a darkness that other’s have never experiences and never will because it is my own darkness and not to be shared.

My words are my legs that walk me around this world picking up the pieces of a once comfortable life, we tend to fall into what is comfortable and easy for us, who wants to be constantly challenged? Not I but I am the one that is challenged relentlessly, I am slammed against the wall and slide down it like a tear down a cheek.

My words are my weapons, they protect the weakest of hearts and mine is at the top of that list. I wonder what people think when they read my blog and I wonder how much pity is being poured from my peeps hearts. Do you feel sorry for me? Do you wonder why I am being tested so? Do you wonder what I did to bring such karma onto myself?

You may have all the questions but never will you have the answers as they are not for you to know. The life I live is pure unadulterated hell at this point and time but at least I can say I have literally been to hell and back, can you? Take your pity and your sad feelings and open up a can of tuna, dump it out and reseal it with your useless emotions for me.

Do you relate to any of what I am experiencing? Have you lived through similar? Is your life worse? If you answer yes to at least one of these questions then look inward, look very deep inward and look at the painting within. Does my pain touch a part of you that you were unaware existed?

If so, look deeper and uncover what you hide from and release it into the heaven’s to be cleansed by God and you will find your way in time, as I shall. You don’t believe in God? You believe in something or you stand for nothing and you stand tall with your beliefs and let life flow its natural path.

Escape Us

Who doesn’t want to escape once in a while? Who doesn’t want to be a kid again jump into rain puddles and make snow angels? Who doesn’t want to feel free and embrace the stars? I believe all of us have felt that way and it is good to escape and leave it all behind and grab what is ours.

I escape every day into a tempo that makes me feel good and smile. I cannot hold a note with a basked but I do love to sing and everyone sings in their cars or shower, don’t they? Music is my greatest and easiest escape because it reminds me of people, places and things that I once loved or still do.


I think I was involved music in my past life but then again I also think I was an attorney or involved heavily into law. I believe in past lives, karma, evil and good and I believe God has set a path for all of us. Being as spiritual as I am I know in my heart that God watches over me and I am his instrument.

I think God is pretty amazing even though he has had some pretty shitty things happen to me at times. He knows I need to learn and my stubborn ass needs to be shook up sometimes. It’s ok God because for every bad thing that has happened good things seem to follow and it’s about getting rid of the old making room for the new.

My life is starting to change and I can feel it and the way I am dealing and deciphering problems is changing in a more positive way. I am doing the work that needs to be done and I am eliminating items, legal problems and people who are not bringing positive into my life.

I really have to figure out what I want and go after it because I really do not know what I want other than a warm, loving, affection and secure relationship that isn’t controlling or stifling. I would like to have a relationship that allows us to constantly communicate and enjoy ourselves as well as the world around us.

Where Am I

Where am I now? I do not know and I have no idea where I am headed but I wish I could be saved from the loneliness and emptiness. My life is so mundane, so vanilla and so boring as hell. There are no moments of laughter or happiness, there are no moments of contentment and inner peace.

Sometimes I feel like walking off the diving board into an empty pool that is twenty feet deep. I am so tired of fighting to survive and I am so fed up with everyone’s lies. What I ask for is way too much I guess a simple hug a simple kiss it’s just to much to ask for.

He’s says we will be together and we both know that’s a lie so why does he keep saying it? I will always wonder why, I need to laugh just a little laughter once in a while I just need a hug once in a while too. I feel as if I am supposed to make others happy while denying myself the same pleasure.

He says he loves me, well if he really did he would leave my life the way he came in. He says these lies and hurts me so but he still continues with his disguise. Does he love me? No, well maybe as a friend but nothing more and if he does he needs to prove it because I am not feeling it.


You do not trust yourself that is why you do not trust me, you do not believe in yourself and that is why you do not believe in me. I am not you, not remotely and because you lack the faith in yourself you cannot put faith in others. I will not chase you and I will not wait and I do not care what you do any longer.

You hurt me, I hurt you it’s over-you are going to be a new dad and marry so enjoy your life, move on forget me and quit posting shit that is hurting me. I am deleting everyone that posts things that hurt me and that is the way it has to be. You are happy and fulfilled so be on your way, be happy and enjoy what you have for now.