Green Light

Relationships are like traffic lights and one should know when to stop at the red and the yellow is a warning. People try to rush things and that isn’t a good thing for any relationship, all I know is life is too short to wait for tomorrow.

We take time for granted when we really shouldn’t and if you want to be with someone, be with them because you do not know how much time you will have that person. When people really love you they forgive you for your discrepancies and they stand by your side.

If you are one of the foolish ones that want to wait until they have enough money, own a big house and car or can retire then you are wasting precious moments that you cannot afford to waste. We fool ourselves into believing that special person will always be there.

When we realize that the special person is moving on we begin to panick and try to make a connection before it is too late. If you are the one moving on you know that moving on is damn hard but is possible and the one you waited so long for could redeem themselves if they chose but you will not wait for that day, and that is where I am.

I am moving on and yes it is sad and it is a death in many ways but I have to love myself first and let love in my life. I waited and waited, forgave time and time again but I have finally reached the move on point.

I do miss him terribly and when I try to call he no longer answers his phone so I have given up totally. I would have thought he would have called and said he was sorry for forgetting my birthday or that I wasn’t important enough or something was more important, at least something.

This shows me he doesn’t love me or care so moving on is the right choice for me. If he is one of those type that is to ashamed and has no excuse then grow some balls and be a damn man, I have had to grow balls for myself so it can be done.

Love is damn hard to find and when you find someone who loves you and you love them then grab it because love doesn’t ride a carousel and it won’t be there forever. It has taken me so damn long to find love but I have to let it go because it isn’t mutual.

I am spending more time with “C”, I only use the first letter of his name because his name is so damn long, something about those latinos and long names. He is sweet but something isn’t fitting into this picture right and I do not know what it is other than the memory of another.

I wish he would just let me be free, no contact at all so I can move on with “C” because this is the first guy I have started to see since my husband passed. It is different and strange but welcome and comforting. So if you are reading this let me go please because there is no us and never was.

There is no money ever going to you again so forget that and besides you are finally doing well enough on your own again. Let me have the happiness I deserve because you do not want to be with me anyway.

We both know you could have been with me long ago but then that might have caused you trouble with a certain someone at the time. Well, that time is done and over and in your past and you still have chosen not to come meet me, so cut me loose and go on your way, please.