The Giving Mom

With xmas around the corner I am hard pressed to come up with money to buy the kids presents. I am selling books and old vcr tapes on amazon and ebay hoping to get enough money to get Ryan a used ipad and used xbox since that jerk was in my house and ripped me off.

It is really a sad state of affairs when someone steals from you when your child is in the hospital and your mind has turned to mush. Somehow, somewhere I will get the money and buy him the new halo games. He is a gamer at heart and wins the games two days at the most after he has them.

I have a box to send out of the country and I am going to try to get it out of here next week. It’s just taking up space and I haven’t sent it because I haven’t had the money. Maybe it will get there by xmas because I am sending it by slow boat and I mean real slow boat.

Here I m again thinking of everyone but myself again but that is me. I am working on getting my money back from another jerk I was doing business with. When I get that back then I am going to start a mail order under my daughters name in January and teach her how to run a business, make money for school and be her own boss.

One thing I do well is selling over the phone and in person because I have that way with people. I don’t sell anything I do not believe in, wear or backup so I do not lie to my customers and people can tell and some can’t, in fact most can’t tell when they are being conned and some people I know, know that better than anyone.

I am seriously thinking about starting my own line of sex toys and items because it’s a huge market and I am really good at selling, like I said. I do not want anyone to have to support me ever and that is why I am doing all of this, to help my daughter and son and myself as well.

Men don’t seem to mind supporting women but I just do not like anyone feeling like they have to take care of me. I am more than capable of taking care of myself. I do not want anyone’s money and as far as I am concerned I feel as if I am already married to someone so I am good to go.

To be honest I am so scared to ever get married legally again and I do not know if I could do it, someone would have to drag me to the church because I would have a fast car waiting for me. Marriage is scary not the committment but the actual signing of the document.

Relationship Lies

I wonder how a many people are in relationships because they get along with the person and they are somewhat happy in the relationship. Why do people stay in safe relationships instead of going after the person they really want to be with? Why do people sell themselves short like that?

I know someone that is doing that exact thing but I can do nothing about it and they seem to be content or at least semi content. There is no doubt a baby in the picture which we all know how kids affect a relationship, either good or bad and even controlling a manipulating at times.

I would never want to be in that position again, either get married or have the kid on my own. It was tough enough to make when I was thirty four and I of course, made the wrong choice. I wish I would have raised her on my own because I would have been so much happier than I was.

It doesn’t matter how attractive you are or how wealthy you are, no one is immune to being cheated on or dumped. I would think those would be the people who fall the hardest because they expect to get whatever they want or whomever. I do not think men forty-five and over should have children.

When men get about fifty five they want do to as they please and have their children raised. They want to enjoy kinky sex and traveling without the kids any longer. I can’t blame them either because raising kids is rewarding but so is it when they are gone as well. 

Our Naughty Side

Everyone has a naughty side, you can deny it but you know it’s the truth. I like to write about erotic fantasies of my own and have a blog that I share these fantasies I do not consider my thoughts “dirty” just normal especially for someone who hasn’t had sex in three years.

Yes, I am aware this is a very unhealthy lifestyle but I just cannot jump into bed with someone, it’s not that easy for me. I have to know something about the person more than their first name. How do I get satisfied? using toys of course and the jets in my bathtub. As a mature woman I enjoy an orgasm several times a day if at all possible but usually I am lucky to slip one in.

My kids know I have toys because as kids they have been snooping into my nightstand drawer. Kids always think their parents drawers hold secret prizes for them to take but they end up cracking up because they have found a sexual aid, which of course also grosses them out.

I finally have doors on my bedroom and basement and yes they  have locks on them. Unfortunately I have no choice but to have a lock on my door as I will have to keep all the knives locked up and the meds, its called suicide prevention as I can no longer trust Ry not to hurt himself.

Back to my erotic blog-I do not find it in the least bit offensive but some of you might, I am not ashamed of my body or any of my pics or words that I have written. I am who I am and that is not going to change, take me or leave me. I am quite comfortable in my own skin and few women that are BBW cannot say that.