Us Anew

“C” and I had a good talk today and we cleared the air and I explained how I feel about letting him know about my current set of problems. I have told him how bad things have been and I told him about the other “him”.

He has been so supportive and he would really like the other “him” to go away and let him try to make life fun for me again. He knows I was scammed and that the scammer still contacts me regularly and he wants me to close my facebook, which isn’t a bad idea.

I like my fb but if I have to close it to get him out of my life then I guess I have to close it. It’s not like I have real friends on there, I have one and he is an old boyfriend from high school. His wife died of cancer and with Bob dieing of cancer as well, we have a common bond.

I like “C” a lot and he is so damn handsome with that long dark hair and those eyes, those damn eyes are gorgeous and I think it’s time to get physically close. I just need that touch from another body and I do not mean sex.

I like being naked and feeling skin on skin and yes I want to have sex with him and I have no reason not to now do I? I believe it’s time to let a man in my life and my body and I am so attracted to him that holding back is so damn hard.

I like spooning naked and feeling a man against my tailbone, I enjoy a man’s arm resting on my breasts and I enjoy the smell and feel of a man. I have denied myself this wonderful pleasure for many years but this week that will all change, finally.

I do know that once we have sex there will not be anyone else in my life, not online, not on facebook no where because I cannot be involved totally when there is a distraction. So I am eliminating all distractions and moving forward with this wonderful man.

Just Can’t

 

I was trolling my Facebook as usual and as usual I listen to every son posted as I adore all types of music. This song I clicked and it scared the shit out of me. What if I meet up with this friend and find out he’s involved with someone else?

Damn, I do not want to be in the middle of hurting anyone, no that scares me as I am not wanting to harm anyone. If things aren’t good enough for him and her, where the hell am I going to be? I do not want my heart to be an innocent victim.

I do not want pain to be brought on another by me, so now I am really hoping we just don’t hit it of so well. Maybe just keep it friends and no more until I am sure that there is nobody in his back pocket, asking me to go against that is something I cannot do.

Don’t ask me where I got the morals from because they sure didn’t come from my momma but I believe God has given me strong morals and ethics to help fight the adversity that has been in my life. I am quite fortunate as most people do not know what morals or ethics really are.