Growing Up

Our children grow up so fast that we blink and they are adults. My daughter wants to be a judge one day and I have been able to secure her a job with my attorney when she graduates in May. We went out shopping today because she needed some boots for winter and she found some she really liked so of course I bought them for her.

I was able to save ten grand for each of my kids before my husband could spend it, I had money put aside to cover college but he pissed it away. My daughter is finally realizing that she cannot afford an apartment and school and she is also knows that if her and her boyfriend break up she needs to live somewhere and home is the place.

tomorrow we go before the court to see what will happen with my kids, Ryan wants to stay with me and Shelby wants to stay at her boyfriends, cps is going to recommend to the court that Shelby return home and the court generally adopts cps recommendations. I am looking forward to rebuilding a relationship with my daughter before she fly’s the coop.

Then on Thursday I go on trial for a felony charge which is bullshit and even the probate judge said the same thing and that will be used in my favor during the trial.  My attorney isn’t worried one bit so I guess I won’t worry either about the outcome, the cops think they are judges and juries these days and make some real stupid mistakes which cost them.

I love my kids but it’s time for me to find my own way and Ryan will be gone in two years and I will be by myself completely. I need to meet someone or my house will be full of dogs again, lol. I want to be able to not worry any longer about my son committing suicide and I hope we can get through this terrible phase in his life.


My Zeus

I miss my Zeus, Athena, Apollo and Pandora so much, these four were my miniature Yorkies that my daughter gave away because she was jealous of them. I got sent to jail because I was in my deceased dad’s home, I know it doesn’t make any sense and now I am on trial Thursday for a felony.

My daughter let me sit in jail for two weeks while she found homes for my dogs. She and her brother were taken away from me during a divorce and I got the dogs for company and Athena and Apollo had puppies. Zeus is a Morkey and he was such a loving dog and I miss them so much.

Pets can help us during the hardest times in our lives especially when we are alone. I have always loved animals and have found the love I couldn’t get from people from them. I am learning to trust a rabid dog more than people, which is so sad but it is the way of our world today.

My life is so lonely, so barren and empty and it has been for over twenty years, yes I was married but even that didn’t turn out right and we were going through a divorce got back together and told three days later he would die in a month and true to form he died exactly a month to the day.

My daughter reminded me today that my birthday is next week, not that it matters because it will be another lonely day for me. I do not go out because I am a private person and feel safe in my home. I do not drink so bars have no appeal to me and being my age doesn’t give much breathing room to meet anyone my age or close.

I am a good person but that doesn’t save me from hurt or heartache and one day I will have another pair of Yorkies to put a smile on my face and love in my arms. Do you think it is sad that I get my love from pets? Do you have any idea how people in the world are like me? So many elderly or handicapped people rely on their pets for a laugh, a smile and a bit of love.

I am an unconventional women in every sense of the word but when it comes to love I am no different from anyone else. All of us need to feel love and that is what makes us whole, it’s what makes us better people and love is like the weather, it will eventually blow my way one day.