Kleen X

I have two adorable miniature yorkies that keep me laughing and of course picking up. They have a thing for toilet paper, paper ect. and they love to tear it up. They got a hold of the toilet paper roll and now I have bits and pieces of paper everywhere. These little guys make me so happy and they make me laugh until I pee.

Pet therapy is wonderful and so helpful when you are down and out and even my son is taken by them. He is actually cleaning up after them for a change. I let Ryan hold them on the way home when I bought them and they think he is their “daddy”. They follow him everywhere and take their naps with him.

Many years ago I used to raise exotic birds and I had everything from finches to a hyacinth macaw and I would take my baby cockatiels and go to a nursing home. I gave the elderly babies and supplies all the food and necessities. A lot of the elderly had no family that visited them and the birds filled a void.

Pets can make us feel so much better and Michael and Gabriel keep me on my toes. They are so small and they run like little gazelle’s through the house. My house is set up so you can run down the hall and through the kitchen to the great room and back to the hall so there is a complete circle which has turned into doggie derby, lol.

Khloe kitty loves the boys, lol they fight and play and Khloe does the hide jump maneuver which is hilarious to watch. She thinks she is hiding and when the pups walk bye she jumps on the and plays. This house is like a racetrack as these three chase each other and they put love and life back into my home.

Anger Management

I think some of you can tell I have that female scorpio temper and you are so right! I do not get really pissed often because I let that shit build up inside like the piss on the bottom of the toilet seat, ya guys while you’re drawing your gf’s face in piss in the bottom of the toilet, that shit is splashing.

I do not get pleasure out of hurting anyone but then again they didn’t seem to mind hurting me now did they? I have enough evidence to back up any claims I post and people can run but they can never completely hide. I have records going back four years on a certain individual and he is so full of himself he wanted me to know who he was.

I think that is why he follows my blog, he is waiting for his picture to be posted, mon chere’ your time is coming.

I wasn’t impressed than and I am not impressed now and I admit I fell in love with a non entity for years but I recently woke up and I am cleaning out my closet. Out with the old and non useful to the new and useful and I feel nothing, I am not sad, upset or regret a single decision I have made this month.

Next month will start with a bang as well as I go on trial for a felony, ya going into my deceased dad’s home. Cops are stupid and they are lining my pockets with money from their own ignorance, thank you gentlemen. I have been trying to get this trial over for several months now and December 5th will be the finale.

Once I get on the stand and the probate judge’s statement is read it’s all over with and the prosecutor loses, dumb bitch.

Just Say It Already

Have you ever gotten pissed because someone put the toilet paper on backwards? Left a glob of toothpaste in the sink? Didn’t flush the toilet or left their clothes on the bathroom floor? These are fighting words for so many.

People let things build up and then they blow up over stupid shit. This is where the lack of communication comes in. Instead of dealing with the problem at hand a lot of people hold their resentment in and blow up over stupid shit.

So what if the toilet is put on backwards, don’t get pissed of over it just make it plain and clear to the other person what annoys you. Yes, this can backfire and they can use it against you to piss you off just because they know they can.

I started a new campaign around my house and my new slogan is ” pick it or pitch it” which means pick your shit up or I throw it away. I don’t care if it’s clothes, shoes, games, computers whatever it goes in the trash.

My son found his geometry book in the trash and acted like I had committed some terrible injustice. He has been banned from using tableware because he won’t put his dishes in the dishwasher, now he has paper plates, cups, bowls and plastic ware he can pitch.

So we need to talk more, bitch less and appreciate each other for a change.

 

 

 

Most Embarrassing

I have experienced some of the most embarrassing moments anyone could ever have. I have walked out of the ladies room with my skirt tucked into my slip for all to see, I have also had toilet paper for days follow me out of the restroom.

Last week my daughter and I were shopping and as we started to walk down the escalator I had one of those tiny explosions between my legs not be so tiny. Every step I took another fart escaped and my daughter and I just started cracking up because it was like ten farts in a row before they finally stopped

Ok, you laugh at me but how many of you have been in line to pay for something and one of those silent but deadlies escaped and you acted like it was the person behind you? Or completely ignored it all together until the smell almost knocked you out?

I had my son go into my wallet to get some money and he found my “friendly bullet”  which comforts me when I am out and about, yes a mini vibrator. He just said “mom, what in the hell is this in your purse?” I just cracked up and said my vibrator.

He dropped my wallet and said you get the money, lol. Then there are the moments of others faux paux. At my husband’s funeral a friend of his said “he couldn’t look better if he were dead” now that was an embarrassing moment for sure.

Embarrassing moments are usually funny but sometimes they aren’t but I still laugh anyway. Someone once asked me if it was hard to put on a prosthetic when the person is dead, like I know the answer to that? I am sure it isn’t easy………