Christmas Reality

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As a young girl I remember a movie about xmas that I have seen only once but I still remember it. I was about eight years old and it there was a blizzard outside. I was holed up in my night-gown drinking hot chocolate, the kind you made on the stove.

The story was about a boy about my age who lived in the ghetto’s of New York and his family had no money for Christmas. This little boy found this cat and fell in love with it and the corner store owner ended up giving this little boy tuna fish to feed his cat.

That’s all I can remember about the story but it has stuck with me all these years. The kindness of one can make another’s world so bright and gay. It would be nice if people didn’t wait for the holidays to do good things for others but I will take whatever is offered in this world at this time.

I wish I could remember the name of that movie because I would so like to watch it again. There are some movies that have such an impact on us we never forget them. This movie is a real eye opener to the kindness of man and to see it again would be so delightful.

Just For Me?

He stays away and makes money but has no time to spend that money, or does he? He says he wants to be with me, ya like I believe that line of crap. He has followed me online for years and lied all the way, he knows I know who he is yet he still hides like a little boy. I have become his “friend”. 

He reads everything I post because it appears that I am the only “real” person in his life. He sits back and laughs, feels sorry for me and I piss him off. I enjoy pissing him off because he deserves it for all that he has done. He thinks I wait for him, ya just like I’m waiting for a serious case of diarrhea while shopping.

It must be nice to sit back and read about my life and say you want to marry me, like that will NEVER happen. I do not envy him nor do I wish to live his lifestyle. Many would love to be wealthy and famous as he is but I find that to be useless and shallow. He is neither but sometimes people need a swift kick in the behind.

I have my faults but I have some damn good virtues and he doesn’t have a place in my life and he is slipping out of my heart as well. He has watched me suffer yet offers not one word of support. I get more support out of an over bleached bra then I do him and just like that bra, he is being trashed.

You can give for only so long and when you get nothing in return it’s time to pack it and ship it, to let’s say fucking Chile. So go your own way and forget me as I am forgetting you. You are a scammer and always will be, how sickening is that? You stole from me and my children you fuck.

Kissing

Kissing is an art that I have found most people do not possess. You do not suck the other person’s lips into your mouth or have sloppy wet lips that want to devour have of ones face. Kissing requires most lips, slowly kissing the neck and ear, the side of the face over to the lips.

The kiss should possess power yet be gentle, demanding but in a needy way and the kiss should involve the dance of the tongues. Kissing is what makes love-making so powerful, exciting, and memorable. A great kisser is hard to find and it is also hard to find someone who enjoys kissing.

I enjoy kissing so much as I let my hands run over the tight ass and thighs, the groin and the chest. I get so turned on kissing and touching because the excitement is so heightened. I miss kissing so much and it’s the one thing I can’t do to myself, where is my great kisser?

The Door Does Hit You In The Ass

I have been trying to keep you out of my life because all you do is hurt me but you just won’t go. You have a gf knocked her up and posted the pic, wtf is wrong with you? Must you continue to hurt me because you are so damn insecure and assume things without proof to back them up.

Well I dumped your sorry ass off my fb, ya I know there’s another 1499 profiles that are yours-just go the fuck away will you? I don’t need this shit especially right now but you are so damn self centered and narcissistic you have to make things all about you and your damn feelings.

You may your choice and now that’s she is knocked up, well there ya go your new wifey-please just leave me alone, all I have done is love you and help you and all you have done is continuously hurt me. I can tell you as long as you have contact with me and ask me to help you jack off you and her will go nowhere EVER.

Do you love me? NO Do you care? A tad bit-based on that information you have a small amount of caring for me which I would hope you would be man enough to be gone as you know you are destroying me, my son just did that please do not do it as well. Hell, it’s to late it’s a done deal.

Please, leave my life and let me be happy because you do not want any part of my life-

Feel It

Do you feel the betrayal? Do you feel the rejection and the warmth of my tears as they stream down my face, feeling like a fool once again and for what? For his cheap entertainment I assume, well Im still going on the trip and I will be fine just getting away is going to be great.

Well, guess what? I’m doing ok and I have finally excepted the truth, you are more fucked up than I could ever begin to be and you are really into hurting people. Enjoy yourself do you? well I have no idea why but I give up, I’m throwing in the towel, you win, ok now get the fuck out of my  life.

When I Think

When I think of 

You

I catch my 

Breath

I cannot breath without

You

When I dream of 

You

I smile in my

Sleep

You are my

Air

You make me

Breathe

Your smile is 

Dazzling

Your lips so

Kissable

Without you I  could not

Breathe

You are my

Air

I want to touch you so 

Badly

To smell your

Cologne

Run my fingers through your

Hair

Lean on your

Shoulder

Feel your

Warmth

Your touch and your

Lips

I want to kiss 

You

Share with 

You

A life for 

Us 

And only

Us

Now drop your

Pants, lol

Mr. Sandman

I have been feeling very uneasy the last four or five days and it’s because of the “trip” and how uncomfortable I have been feeling. I have been wanting and needing to get away from my life and just leaving it like a snake sheds it’s skin.

That is what I am doing now that I am feeling better that a “friend” is going to meet me in NY. I really like him and he and I get along so well when we chat. I need to be held first and foremost and just need to feel a bit of affection, real or not.

It’s been so long since I have had a man’s arms around me and it is time to feel it again. Bob has been gone sixteen months and they have been very long months. I have had many reminders of his death when I moved the bedroom around and the blood was on the walls.

I cleaned the furniture and more blood as well as on the floor, I do not know who it was worse for him or I but it killed us both never the less. Going thru a divorce to get back together and three days later finding out your spouse has a month to live, well that is hard damn hard.

I can honestly say I am sad at this very moment thinking back to him the hospital bed and the leukemia taking over his body and him throwing up the blood and packing his nose with wet tea bags to help stop the bleeding. I didn’t know a thing about leukemia or platelets but I learned damned quick, no platelets nothing to hold your blood together and you bleed out.

The kids refused to go into the bedroom when the third week came and he could barely get out of bed with my help. Damn, it really hurts to remember those days as I did what I had to do and didn’t think twice about it as I one day ran into the next.

The kids knew the end was coming but just couldn’t bring themselves to see their dad and my step daughters, well I had to fucking beg them, literally in tears begging them to come see him even though that hadn’t spoken in a decade he needed to clear up some things.

Same with Kay is second x-wife, I had her come as well, surely not for me but for the both of them as they had children together, spent their youth together and had a life together. She had every right to see him and I am glad she came to the funeral as well.

I am no hero, I am no one special but I can see beyond myself and my needs and no people do not treat you like they would like to be treated. Does that matter? No it does not because I have to live with me and no one else has to and God is my leader even though you would never think so.

I have learned much about pain and injustice and I am not going to do what others have done to me, I do not need to stoop that low and never will. I am very spiritual and have learned to do what is best for me so I pave my own way.

People can’t believe I went out of my way to get Bob’s kids and x-wife here to see him but the truth is I was lead down that road and did the “right” thing for me. Trust me, if I were Bob and he had been me he would have never made the calls.

But isn’t that Kimberly? Always Kimberly thinking of others, doing for others, wanting to be treated the way she treats others. Well, guess the fuck what? Others are not like Kimberly and that is ok because that is what makes me, me.

I probably appear like a stupid fool to you but I don’t care because I do not care what others think because if I did, I wouldn’t be living my life, I would be living a life for someone else. I have brought my grandmother home to die and was with her when she passed, my aunt died of legionairres, my brother was found dead, my husband died last April and my Dad passed in January.

I have lost my entire support system in the last five years and my mother and sister are just kind of out there somewhere. We really do not communicate and my sister and I talk because I have involved her in a legal dispute which will send money her way, and boy she loves green.

We didn’t talk for several years because she did a horrific thing but I had to reach out to her for reasons I do not care to get into at this point. I have had a whirlwind life the past several years, fighting like hell during a divorce that never happened was the beginning.

I fell for someone, yes I fell hard and no we never met or had any physical relationship but he showed me what it was like to feel cared for. No he didn’t care for me but scammed the hell out of me but I learned so much more from this one person than from anyone else I have ever known.

I left the marriage because I was so miserably unhappy and then we got back together, my step daughter called the state on me right after my husband passed because I was an emotional mess. The state took my kids, I got thrown in jail, my dogs were given away and the list goes on.

When you lose your kids that is hard but damn to take my dogs, my dogs got me through the divorce, the loneliness and emptiness, the saddest of times and the tears that never cease to stop flowing. I am putting this all behind me now and happy days are on their way.

Im going to NY and a “friend” is going to meet me, we have chatted for a very long time on and off and now we are going to meet. I look forward to adult conversation and just relaxing, my agenda is motel with kitchen, cook stay naked in bed eat, shower play around, get romantic and start all over again.

Fine, so call me a slut, I relish the name so thank you as I have not been with a man in years and it’s time, yes it’s about time to feel the arms of another, listen to their heart beat, feel the warmth of their body. It’s all sounds so damn wonderful I cannot wait for some R & R. Rest and Rape, yes a lady must be a whore in the bedroom and a great cook in the kitchen, hell at least I have one of them covered, literally lol, the bed, covered? get it. roflmao I’m such a stupid fuck sometimes

Looking Beyond

I looked beyond the sunset

I looked beyond the sea

I looked beyond tomorrow

I looked beyond you and me

I saw the light of love

I saw the ocean of blue

I saw a piece of me

I saw a piece of you

I could hear the quiet whisper

Of a powerful man you see

He said my dear child

Love will soon be

Holding you closely

Giving you laughter

And giving you fun

Look beyond today my child

As what you dream is surely

To come