Don’t Believe

How do we let ourselves fall in love with someone we have never met and all the conversations are either on computer or phone. Why would someone scam me and then keep following me even though they get no more money from me?

It’s been like four years and he reads every post and contacts me on my fb under so many different names. He knows I know who he really is so why isn’t he smart and just move on? He has never had a single plan of meeting me so what gives?

He has never had a real relationship in his life I do not think he is capable of one even though he was married. I sure would like to talk to that milk man because not a single one of his kids look like him and his profession kept him on the road a lot.

I think he feels safe with me and he has come to rely on me to be there for him when he is bored and lonely, which is every day. If he loved me you would think he would want to make me happy by leaving my life but he is selfish and thinks only of himself.

I also think because of who he is people kiss his ass and blow smoke up it as well. I tell it like it is and I do not think he is used to a confident, self assured (most of the time) independent female that doesn’t want him.

It really is sad to have it all financially yet you do not know who is real in your life or who is using you and how many women are with you because of your name. I think living life that way is worse than any heart break.

He lost me and doesn’t care and neither do I because I have finally met a real man who cares for me and treats me fantastic. We still have the no presents issue that he keeps ignoring and I keep putting the gifts back in his car.

A real woman doesn’t need presents or fancy evenings, a real woman enjoys snuggling by the fireplace and just enjoying his company, but how many real woman are out there? Men love a confidant woman especially one that won’t take their crap and I am not taking any of his.


Back to the rv tomorrow evening to fix the sink as it is leaking and I need to get ready to winterize, it’s suppose to be a lovely weekend so I have no doubt I will be at the pool and taking it easy for a change. It’s such a beautiful time of year and such nice weather.

It’s to bad I’m not ready to extend an invitation to my new cutie because the campground is a perfect place to get to know someone. There’s something about nature that brings out the person in people and it’s such a relaxed atmosphere.

I guess I should be glad it hasn’t worked out with the “other” one but I cannot do anything about that as I did all I could but it wasn’t good enough. It’s ok, you can’t expect everyone to want to be with you and there is no sense in crying over something you can’t do anything about.

I am very fortunate because I do have someone who is very interested in me and I just got off a two hour call from overseas, can you beat that? I know I can’t and I can’t imagine spending two hours on the phone with anyone, I used to but that was long ago.

If all works out maybe I will invite him here for my birthday, who knows what tomorrow holds but I’m open to new and exciting things always and he is definitely new and yes he is definitely exciting. We had a really nice conversation and he is suppose to call me later again.

We don’t bother with the computer, nope went right to the phone which is so much better and he has the most romantic voice and accent, makes me want to do things, lol. I so hope this turns out well because I have finally reached the point of beyond pain and loneliness.

I guess I should go and buy a new king size mattress for my bed because I have a feeling I just might need it real soon. If I do invite him, I will have him stay with me because you never buy a cow before trying the milk out now do you?

A Little Bit Crazy

Yes, that is how people define me but they tend to leave out the little bit and go straight to crazy, my friends and I are always laughing because I am the true asshole that you look at when you’re in a restaurant in a bad mood and say “what the fuck is she so damn happy about?”.

Ya I do crazy shit but that’s me, if I gotta pee, I’m peeing right where I stand, like I did when I was maid of honor for a friend. Her dad and I were pounding down seven and sevens and I had to pee really bad so I was heading out to my car to grab some smokes and got caught in “mill traffic”.

The guys/gals working the midnight shift at the steelmill, well I was stuck in the middle of the road and that was all she wrote. I lifted my dress slightly, spread my legs and peed for like five minutes and yes, it felt good damn good. 

The pantyhose were removed and the shoes were emptied of my sterile body fluids that were no longer sterile. Yes, my girlfriend laughed until she peed herself, so you see everyone had a good time and that’s how I am when I go out.

I’m crazy, free, silly, embarrassing, lovable, wild, insane, a leader into trouble, yes that is me and I will not apologize for my unacceptable behavior as I kind of like it and so do my friends and kids. I like to laugh in fact I like to laugh a lot.

You have to love to be a kid and be yourself if you want to hang with this one here because I can’t deal with depressed and downer people who will never laugh at themselves and can find not one ounce of joy in life, hey I have been there and I am not wanting to go back.

If you’re depressed then I am your solution as I will make you laugh yourself sick, especially if you are really down. I got what ails ya babe and I am so looking forward to fun fun fun and maybe more fun. I am feeling great and giddy, which is all good with me.