Wishes

Why do we spend our time wishing and not making it so? Why do we not act on what our mind and heart tell us? Why are we afraid to let go of people and things that are no longer making us happy? Why do we do this to ourselves? We don’t get nine lives but only one and we waste it being unhappy and complaining about it instead of taking a leap of faith that most likely will be the leap that changes our world for the better?

My first order of business is to get my dad’s ashes and find a high mountain and scatter them as that is what he wanted and I will do that for him. I am a very gregarious person and enjoy meeting new people so this will become an adventure that may turn out to lead me to someone who makes me happy. I no longer am waiting for someone who will never appear and I am no longer wasting my life on dreams that will never come true. I am focusing on me and my happiness and closing door behind me as I am trying to do with my husband and I will, it’s just taking longer than I expected.

I will no longer say I have an undying love for someone and I will no longer deny myself because I gave him my heart. I have taken my heart back and I am ready to move on as I have wasted to many years on a go nowhere “relationship” if that is what you can call it. I am no longer interested in making him laugh or smile and I am no longer interested in him as a person as he is to controlling and insecure for me and I finally see that clearly now.

I’m not the most attractive woman but I am not an ugly woman either and yes there are men that want to take me out and show me a good time and it’s about time I start doing just that. You have to cut ties completely before you can move forward and I have severed those ties and I am ok about it. He can make his own decisions and make up his own mind but he is stuck going in circles in his own mind and I don’t  have time for people who do not know what they want in life. I know what I want and I know how to get it and believe me in the next couple of weeks my status will definitely change. 

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